Nia Long was a guest at the Tyler Perry Show on the OWN Network recently and spoke about single motherhood to promote the new movie, "The Single Moms Club" that will be released this Friday, March 14th.
She spoke a lot about the pressures of being a single parent and says this film is here for women gain a helpful perspective on things within that role.
KEY QUOTES FROM NIA LONG TO TYLER PERRY:
"Don't lose yourself in motherhood because one day your kids leave and when they do, you may not have a clear sense of yourself."
"You have to re-introduce yourself constantly because after you become a parent, you are not the same person as you were before having kids."
"You don't "think" about being a mother and what it takes...you just DO it."
"The kids come first. Doesn't matter what your profession is, you just do what you have to do."
"I have a mother who helps me and we work it out."
"You are not alone, we all go through the same things. We should all come together and support one another, and if we did that a little bit more, you might even get a date!"
I remember when I became a mother and went back to college a year or so later, I came across a very well-dressed psychology professor who seemed so well-spoken, well put together and confident. I really admired her and paid a lot of attention to the things she said. I remember going to get dinner with her one time and I already knew she had a son at a young age (at the time I believe he was 13-14). She told me that lots of single mothers get told that "it's not about them anymore, it's about the kids". She said that while it's true your priorities change because of your special role, your happiness and peace of mind are important as well. Many of us have passions, interests and personalities that don't get an opportunity to flourish because of outside opinions - family, spouse, significant other, friends, etc. But parents are important too! Our mental health and happiness equates to the happiness of our children and our loved ones. It all works together and goes hand in hand.
I never forgot Sharon "Zoe" Spencer (my Psych teacher). I carry that with me to this day and I know it was meant for me to meet her because she fed my spirit the motivation to understand my desires mattered, even if no one in my close space understood.
It does take balance (however). And balance is not an easy skill to master, which is why it's important to check yourself often and have a plan, a schedule, and clear, specific goals. There may not be as many hours in a day as we all would like sometimes, but small efforts everyday contribute to greatness in whatever area you put your energy into.
