IF YOU DON’T WANT YOUR MAN TO CHEAT…

I've heard just about everything in life when it comes to keeping your man from cheating. Everything. I've heard that you should make sure you handle biz in the kitchen on the regular...I've heard you should make him feel like he's cheating with you sometimes and have role-play where you're his "whore/slut/sex toy whatever", and I've also heard that it's a lost cause because men will probably cheat regardless.

I was watching a YouTube clip that a lovely lady I'm friends with on Facebook shared on her profile.  It was a dude explaining to the ladies that if you want to keep your man from cheating, you need to stay away from men who are well-endowed AND men with money.  Funny as it was, he was so sincere about his argument.

Well, that seems like it makes perfect sense because of his logic.  He said that most men like to show off something they possess that is worthy of bragging rights.  Fair enough.

But I know that even the "Tiny Timmys" probably have had their share of extra-curricular booty. Umm hmm.

First of all, there are PLENTY of reasons why men cheat.  Women as well, but the problem is not the external factors of food, sex, and money.  It's the lack of INTERNAL FOUNDATION.

This is what I know about people who have a relationship with GOD.  NO THEY ARE NOT PERFECT AND NEVER WILL BE.  THEY WILL MESS UP, THEY MIGHT TALK A LITTLE TRASH, MIGHT EVEN SLAP SOMEBODY IF THEY'RE FEELING FROGGY ENOUGH (these are jokes).......BUT.....

Having a relationship with GOD helps to direct a person to make better decisions.  Sure...people who have no relationship with GOD aren't all vicious people with a vendetta out to hurt someone....BUT...

in times where they could make a decision that is out of love, maturity, is morally the right thing to do, or in their best interest in the LONG RUN....many times....they might choose a more selfish route.  We need spiritual guidance to help lead us to a better frame of mind.

When the secretary's fast behind at your man's job wants to stick around an extra hour to see if he feels like biting her bait...TRUST ME when I say you would rather have a man who knows GOD to make that judgment call rather than a man who does not.  Especially if you've gotten a little lazy with your better half and like to wear Army Fatigues to bed with the hard rollers and your favorite doo-rag.  (I need the ladybugs that do this to cut that out too.)

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GOLDDIGGER VS PROSTITUTE VS WOMAN: A BREAKDOWN

YES KIDS.  It's time to clear up this situation because there is nothing more annoying in the world than for TERMS and WORDS to be confused for one another.  ("Hating" and Disagreeing being one of them but that's another post.)

I'm breaking this down because women are confused on a regular basis about where their head should be when they start dating someone.  The confusion often lies with the want for a man to be a gentleman and act like one but not wanting to be perceived as a "golddigger" and run the guy off.  So let's break down a golddigger shall we?

 A "Golddigger" =  a woman who deliberately uses her body to reap monetary benefits from a person she claims to be interested in.   (Sounds a LOT like prostitution doesn't it???)

That's because it IS.  A "Golddigger" is just a fancy prostitute (YEAH I SAID IT.)  It is "golddigging" when you break a dude off sexually because he buys you something or gives you money (no, I'm not talking about being in a relationship and you give your man a taste because he got you that perfume or gold bracelet you wanted.)

Short review:  Golddigging is a form of PROSTITUTION.   The groupie knows the relationship with her moneybag source is only restricted to occasional hotel stays and being in the VIP crowd at the clubs.  Depending on whether she can make her time with the guy a memorable sexual experience...she may have more opportunities to take advantage of what his world has to offer.

Now....LET'S GO BACK TO THE AVERAGE WOMAN who doesn't want to appear like she's trying to run a guy's pockets.  I have a story.

I linked up with this guy about a year or two ago that I talked to online for a little while.  He invited me to lunch/early dinner one day and I accepted.  We met up at Ruby Tuesday and started ordering our food.  Back then, I was really watching what I ate and only ordered a salad.  I'm pretty sure I got water for my drink too (aka a free item).  He orders a burger, a salad, and a drink.  When it came time for us to take the check, he began to tell me a story about how he was out eating with a girl and she didn't bring any money.  He told me that she shouldn't have assumed that she was going to get a free meal from him because it was a sign of dependency and it's a very attractive trait for a woman to take care of herself.
First of all, I was thinking to myself that this bastard probably has that song "She Got Her Own" by Neyo and Jamie Foxx on repeat in his car.  Then I thought to myself, 'didn't he ask me to come out and eat?'  I would say that my portion of the bill barely hit $8 and I ended up putting down $20 as my portion.  Needless to say he attempted to arrange a 2nd rendez-vous with me and FAILED in the most epic of ways.

What I believe he thought was that I would be more worried about leaving him an impression that I have my stuff together financially rather than allowing him to display a chivalrous act of paying for the lunch/early dinner that he invited me to.  After all, 1st impressions are everything right?  But what he neglected to address was the 1st impression he left with me.

Moral of the damn story is (can you tell I still want to slap him for that?) THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PROSTITUTE AKA GOLDDIGGER AND A WOMAN WITH FINANCIAL EXPECTATIONS.

Ladies, please stop being afraid to HAVE FINANCIAL EXPECTATIONS.  You know what you are and what you're not.  If you know your main goal in life isn't to take advantage of a guy, then be yourself and have the expectation that a guy should step up in that area if he wants to be with you.  Stop being afraid that you will run him off by having standards.  I'm not saying he should have a certain amount of money.  I am saying that he should at least be working towards becoming a provider (unless you want a dude that you will have to take care of).  It took me YEARS to learn that concept.  I'm just glad I learned it in my 20's and not in my 50's.


Old but such a true saying:  If you don't stand for something...YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING.

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