MARRIAGE KILLS RELATIONSHIPS!!!


 
That's the line I hear all too often.
I know much of my blog directs emphasis on women getting their minds right about relationships.  But one big problem I have with the way men and women operate in relationships is the fact that no one ever wants to take ownership for the part they contribute to a problem.  There is usually a person who sees themselves as a victim and that makes it harder to resolve the situation.
CASE IN POINT: The marriage conversation.  There are so many people who honestly think that MARRIAGE creates problems for relationships and makes life too complicated.  I have heard MEN and WOMEN say this.  Kind of similar to how people will say Facebook ruins relationships when in reality it’s the people on Facebook who fail to conduct themselves like they have good sense.
When a woman is treated poorly by a man she is involved with, many times the blame game will begin with the guy getting a bad wrap for being a liar, cheater, perpetrator, and etc.  SAME FOR THE GUYS – they will often call a baby mom or an ex “crazy” when he probably gave her every reason in the world to lose the last rational brain cell in her head.  WHEN WILL WE UNDERSTAND THAT THE SOLUTION TO THE WAY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL BEGINS WITH LOOKING IN THE DAMN MIRROR?
Why are you mad about finding out a guy you were seeing has this whole life and world that you knew NOTHING about when you never made it a requirement to know certain information about him?  “Never making it a requirement” equals breaking him off with the sexual goods, making time for him, and anything else you prematurely allowed him to take advantage of before you knew BY HIS ACTIONS that he was just as devoted to you.
Fellas, why are you mad at a girl you dogged out and didn’t make a top priority when she decides she deserves better and leaves?  Why are you expecting her to play her role as the leading lady when you still have other chicks auditioning for her part?  And then to add insult to injury, you have the audacity to say that she was supposed to hold you down through thick and thin. 
THE ONLY WAY TO BREAK A CYCLE IS TO BEGIN SOLVING THE PART OF THE PUZZLE THAT YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER AND THAT IS YOURSELF.  REALIZE THAT YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE THE STANDARDS YOU EXPECT ANOTHER PERSON TO MEET FOR YOU IS THE SAME STANDARD YOU SHOULD BRING TO THE TABLE YOUR DAMN SELF.
And this is not just financially.  This is not just a one-dimensional situation.  If you are the type of person who talks about people behind their backs, what the hell are you upset about linking up with a person who you realize does the same thing?
Think about it like this.  When you decide where you want to live, you are investing money into something that can be permanent if all goes well.  Most people do their homework about the place to make sure they are aware of what they’re getting themselves into.  The same care should be given to someone you are dating – especially if you are looking for a deeper connection or to be HAPPILY married one day. 

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