I'm Not Your Side-ANYTHING A**hole!

It irks my soul to no imaginable end when a person who is SPOKEN FOR entertains conversation, and people as if they were single, then has the nerve to subliminally post things about home wreckers and the like.

For example, I get a message from someone talking to me as if they could possibly be interested in me and I entertain the convo - only to see after checking out their profile that they are very much MARRIED or in a relationship.  AND THEN TO ADD INSULT TO INJURY...they post something on Facebook or Instagram pertaining to women who love to come after men who are spoken for.  What the HELL?!

I am willing to put my earnings on the fact that there are tons of women who lack the integrity of dismissing a spoken for man, but when I personally see how this shit is almost always a TWO-SIDED situation with BOTH PARTIES PARTICIPATING and then the majority of the judgment from society is placed back on the female, I have a really hard time with this.

First of all, you BOTH are assholes for being selfish and for doing crap that you wouldn't want done to you, but then to be so ignorant as to pointing fingers on others like they were in the charade alone or better yet, to paint a picture like most women would go for a taken man is absolutely ridiculous and disrespectful.

PLEASE ACCEPT MY FRENCH WHEN I SAY....FUCK YOU.

I don't condone being deceitful in a committed relationship - it's one thing if your relationship is open (which some are) and/or you keep it 100 about what your life consists of.  I can respect that ALL DAY over some asshole that tries to glorify the "side pieces" of the world only to entertain them that much more.  And furthermore, I believe many people in relationships who talk about it in the first place probably have some or want some.

The whole "side piece" situation is another thing black folks created in society in terms of making it a "thing" (or popular) in order to provide yet another way for us to tear each other down and talk shit basically.  Side joints can't exist without some asshole making them who they are. So who's really the jerk?

And I'll definitely go on the record for saying that I (like probably many women) have never been a side ANYTHING unless he had a secret life and had some powerful ninja tactics when it came to being everywhere at once.

We need to stop making dumb concepts like this household talk.  Seriously.  We are better than this, and should be tired of tearing down a society just because of a group of people who lack standards.  ((waves church fan real fast))

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Disrespected on Social Media

Access.  For some, it's like the equivalent of leaving a kid in a candy store.  There's so many aisles of "goodies" and "snacks" that some people may not be able to resist and for the person who still has growing to do, it may cost them everything.

STORY:  A friend of mine told me at one point in time, she had a very short reconciliation period with an ex-boyfriend where he threw up a shirtless picture of himself in a jacuzzi.

They were in a relationship when he posted the picture.  She said she (personally) behaved like someone in a relationship online and offline, but with him she could read through his behavior.

But more than the fact that he knew the camera had caught his good side, he threw the picture up for a reason.  He was "baiting", and it wasn't for her.  Now, she is pretty sure the fruits of his man candy labor have paid off for him.  That was one of the many many MANY reasons she didn't work to save their relationship.  On top of the fact that at some point you have to enforce a standard of how you want to be treated, you also have to know when the direction of the person you're with is not going towards you. And to keep it 100, it WASN'T.  So she had to let it go.
Did he love her, sure he did.  ((rolls eyes))

But I said that to say social media is an opportunity for COMMUNICATION.

And everyone doesn't use it properly, or RESPECTFULLY.

Many of us use it as a safe way to "express ourselves" with hidden meanings, emotions, inside jokes, etc., but what about the person who contacts someone because they know they can and they know they have access?

Those times that conversations with your mate get short because of a difference or disagreement and then grow longer with someone who is just out there in social media land.

These little chats can always grow into more, and this isn't to make anyone feel "any type of way", but it's the truth.  There are some people right now who know they act up online (or offline for that matter) and the amount of thirst traps waiting out there who lack standards are by the MILLIONS.

So, how do you avoid the potential traps of social media?  You respect your boundaries like anything else you cherish in life.  

If you know you will get on Facebook or Instagram and show all of your natural ass, FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR TIME.   Grab your PS4 or talk to your XBox One, take Rover's slobbery butt for a walk, go watch Roxy Reynolds with some lotion, but stay out of situations where you will be like La Doodlebug in Starbucks.  Raping the frappucinos and sh--- (my bad...I'm having a moment).

I don't know how many couples have each others' passcode or snoop in their mate's accounts, but there are a number of men and women who use Facebook, Twitter and the rest as a means to LINK UP with folk.  Many of them are pretty laid back online too - they don't say too much because they're probably saying it all in certain folks' inboxes.

In a relationship you should feel at ease to know your other half celebrates you and what you have together.  And everyone should be comfortable period.  And if you aren't...TALK ABOUT IT.

#COMMUNICATION

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