My ladybugs in RELATIONSHIPS gave me some very thoughtful feedback on this topic. So I dropped my 99 cents....
I don't like my boyfriend's friends because all of them chase skirts as a hobby...
I would let him know how you feel about his friends and if you're uncomfortable. Respectfully, but he should know that you're aware of their behavior. You should be able to tell if he thinks like his friends by his overall philosophy about things/people/women. Just pay attention and communicate.
He's always asking me what I want to do instead of just taking me somewhere...
Tell him what you would like him to do. He can't read your mind, but also let him know you appreciate spontaneity (whispers...) tell him it turns you on! LOL
I have to remind him to pay his bills and keep track of everything. I'm his wife and his secretary!
If that's a weakness he has, sometimes our strengths can balance out things like that. I would get over it unless it's truly inconveniencing something you need/want to do.
He leaves the bathroom looking like a war zone with hair, clothes and crap everywhere...
Sometimes we have to take the good with the bad. I would say balance is the key. Nothing wrong with cleaning up after the hubby but if he's taking advantage and treating you like his maid service, I would bust him upside the head with a box of cereal.
We never want to do it at the same time!!!
This always sucks but communication is the best way to handle this. Compromise too. If you know you've bended (in more ways than one) with this, then tell him what you want from him as well. Make it worth his while to be more on your schedule too...lol
I don't think his mom likes me.
Well, I think the important thing would be trying to figure out why you feel this way. If you know why she may not like you then I would go with my instincts. If something is telling you to reach out to her, do that and see if it makes for a better situation. Some men are "mamas boys" and are the "main men" to their moms (especially single ones). Just make sure you aren't being neglected in that sense but if it's something else, try to search for answers and go with your gut.
Anytime I hang out with my girlfriends he gets an attitude with me, but when he wants to hang out with his friends I'm supposed to be okay with it.
The good old "double standard". We should all know who we're dealing with when it comes to our other half. The best way to deal with this is to be straight up about how you feel. Don't do the "tit for tat" game. Emotionally it can be hard to express yourself when you feel attached and don't want to come across clingy, but you have to be real with yourself and honesty is better than trying to act like you're unaffected if you really are. TALK ABOUT IT. Respectfully.
He lets his kids destroy the house and when I say something to them, he yells at me.
Unfortunately if you aren't his wife (which I know you aren't yet), you have to step back and woosah at the situation. Some battles we have to pick and choose. If you are paying rent with your man (however), you have every right to speak up about the upkeep of the house and what you want him to do. Again, COMMUNICATE. But do it when you are not upset. Respect is always the key.
He's too lazy when we're having sex, he always want me on top.
Try to introduce something different in your sex situation like a game, new location, video, play fight, etc. I say this because he might be bored with the regular routine so switching things up by being spontaneous may be what you need to inspire him. If that doesn't work, shove a sock in his mouth while he's sleep. (I kid...I kid)
We never have any alone time, it's always family night.
SCHEDULE IT!!! SCHEDULE IT!!! SCHEDULE IT!!! Find a sitter one night and plan something special. You can have fun with your girlfriends shopping for some sexy lingerie and smell goods. Planning is the key!
He works less than I do, but I'm always doing the cooking. He sucks in the kitchen.
Tell him some nights you aren't going to cook. You shouldn't feel like a slave to the stove so don't put that pressure on yourself. He should know you will take care of home but not at the expense of feeling run down. BALANCE my dear!
He's always buying some damn sneakers! Priorities are trash, he owes everybody including me!
No one can take advantage of you unless you allow them to. If he's abusing your generosity then you have to let him know you can't continue to enable his bad spending habits. Of course you want to make him happy, but your happiness is important too! See how bad the situation is and trust your instincts. Let him know it's okay to spend but ONLY IF YOU HAVE THE MEANS TO!
