Let me explain sumthin to you Lucy ::in my Ricky Ricardo voice:: look at my words RIGHT down here:
THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE WHO WILL LOVE YOU REGARDLESS OF THE FACT THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE CHILDREN!!!
Some ladies don't understand this situation because they feel somehow tainted or scarred by the fact that the relationship didn't work with the father.
A grown ass man knows that as adults we go through life and things happen. What if you were divorced with kids? Would that make the situation any better just because technically you didn't begin as a single mom? You still are at single mother status regardless of the story that got you there. AND A REAL MAN KNOWS THAT.
Now, I'm not saying that you won't find a guy who does not prefer to date a woman with children. Some men know that they don't want kids or want to deal with them. Just like a guy might not want to date a brunette, or a Spanish woman, or Black woman or any other person that might not be his preference.
I remember it was 2007, I had been out of a serious relationship for about 7 months and I had one friend in particular that I wanted to get to know better. At the time I was still trying to adjust to the fact that I had a second child and felt very uncomfortable telling people that I had kidS...especially a guy that I thought would judge me.
Then I remember speaking to a good friend about the situation on IM and this is what he told me:
"A real man knows that life goes on and if there is a woman he is truly into, he looks at her and not at her "stats". If a man sees you handling your business with your children and you have your life together and are taking good care of them, it's more of a turn on. He works harder to prove that he is worthy of being in your life."
And what I see often times is a woman killing herself mentally - trying to prove that she is worthy of a man that she has her eyes on instead of trusting God enough to wait for it all to fall into place. And usually it falls into place when you're handling your business and it feels "off-guard" because your mind is in a healthier space.
THE LAST THING THAT YOU SHOULD EVER EVER EEEEEVVVERRRRR DO IS STAY IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, SETTLE FOR LESS THAN WHAT YOU KNOW YOU DESERVE, OR HOLD YOURSELF TO A LESSER STANDARD BECAUSE YOU ARE A SINGLE MOM OR BECAUSE OF HAVING CHILDREN YOU FEEL UNWORTHY OF SOMEONE MAKING A TRUE EFFORT TO BE WITH YOU.
Whether you consider yourself a valuable treasure or yesterday's trash...you have the power of that being reality. And with either choice...you will be right. It's all up to you. REMEMBER THAT.
