If you're in a relationship and you know you would be upset if you saw your mate giggling on the phone with someone of the opposite sex, MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT DO IT TO THEM.
If you are a man and you're out at a club where you decided to take sand to the beach (aka - you brought your girlfriend) you better play with your FREAKIN sand unless you are saying it's okay for your girl to be sandwiched in by two dudes while "Make Love In this Club" by Usher is on. Some couples might honestly have the understanding that this is okay, but if you do not, ACT ACCORDINGLY.
I say all of this because I am seriously having an issue in the United States of America on the East Coast, in the Virginia persuasion of the world on my cozy couch, reflecting on how many people I know that really don't practice the crap they condemn other people for.
How dare you flirt with your co-workers knowing you have a significant other, but you feel threatened when you see your mate having a friendly exchange with someone they know?
There are far too many people who fail to take accountability (aka OWNERSHIP) for the actions that they do that screw up their relationships YET, they get mad because they were called out on it and/or had to reap the consequences.
THEN YOU HEAR EXPRESSIONS LIKE THIS:
"believe what you want to believe", "yeah, you're always right", I'll be the bad guy if it makes you feel better", "you win", etc. etc. etc.
All of these expressions are signs of avoidance. If a person really cares about their relationship, they will be more concerned with making sure that their mate feels comfortable with a situation. Couples that are truly in "LIKE" with one another will be more respectful of each other's feelings - regardless if they agree or disagree. If I truly want to be with a person, I will try to see their perspective if I can tell it's truly important to them.
All couples need to establish the concept of BOUNDARIES. Couples are two humans that have two separate brains - they need to communicate to make sure they understand what is cool for the relationship versus what isn't. If you don't, it's a recipe for disaster.
I believe in certain homes, the concept of respecting a person's feelings, behaviors and etc. was something that was not taught from an early age. In that case, you end up with a grown adult who relies on avoidance, misplacing blame and anger, does not take ownership for what they contribute to a problem, and a host of other reactions that create an explosion of conflict. It's hard to say where you begin with a person who fits this description (however) because you really would have to make the decision of whether you want to invest that level of effort in working things out with a person who will defend their position to the death.
Most people nowadays will preach to gravitate to the people who feed positivity into your world, but what about when you're in a complicated relationship and it's a mixture of good and bad? I think our generation could stand a few crash courses in going through the storm of a relationship with a person and not just throwing them away, but you have to have a balance. If a person does not respect you - there isn't a true foundation. Treating someone the way you want to be treated has EVERYTHING to do with levels of respect a person has. And more than this, there ARE people who believe in double standards with men and women so it's important to know this early on so you can decide if you can handle that type of person.
