She Makes $200k a Year, and He Makes $40k....Is There a Problem???


Sometimes, it's hard to think for yourself when you have loved ones in your ear.  Sometimes their input is helpful, but other times it can cause a world of problems, including the potential loss of a real connection.

There are too many people who don't have their sh*t together in their own personal lives who love to tell someone who has more going for them (at the time) what they need to be doing. Sometimes even a person who is in a relationship has a wealth of bad advice for their friend or relative because of their lack of perspective, or they can't even relate.

After peeping the play, "Ms. Independent" that showcased in Washington, DC at the Warner Theatre, it had me thinking about the way others come in-between people and their relationships with inconsiderate input.

FACT: BEING DISTRACTED IS ONE OF THE MAIN KILLERS OF INTIMATE BONDS!!!!

Some of the strongest alliances I can think of have one major thing in common: their connection cannot be easily shaken (if at all) by the opinions of others.  

In the play, Carleena (played by Robin Givens) was set up by her mother to be driven away from her husband -- using another man (singer Christopher Williams) to lure her away.  Some people have situations that aren't as crazy and the input from loved ones are more subtle, but there is still manipulation involved where someone else's agenda is being carried out.

And it's definitely not just with a woman.  Sometimes a man's "crew" gets in the middle of his mindset and has him messing up priorities as well.  It's valid on both sides of the equation to say that both people in a relationship need to come into the situation with an open mind and their own independent thoughts.

If you can't think for yourself, you are going to have a hard time being a good catch for somebody else.  I know a lot of people in denial about the fact that they don't think for themselves too. Make sure you check your mirrors for more than a quick selfie.



10 Things About Solange and Jay-Z That No One Else Has Said


1.)  There are approximately 5,459,298,635,209,137,349 stories on social media outlets that will give their spin to what they believe happened on that videotape.

2.)  All the people who judge other people who have commented on the elevator fight are spending just as much of their mental space on it as the people they're judging.  (YEP, GO BACK AND READ THAT AGAIN, I'LL WAIT.)

3.)  Some people like watching Sci-Fi. Some like to watch politics and C-Span. Some people like watching Honey Boo an' dem.  Other people like celebrity tabloid gossip.  Which certainly didn't begin when social media got popular. Entertainment Tonight first aired on television in 1981 - which should tell you how long people have tuned into the latest news about well-known public personalities.  This is nothing new so people need to stop judging others so harshly about the fact that it's a juicy story that got attention.

4.)  If you're tired of seeing status updates, memes, and commentary about the latest hot topics, STOP LOOKING AT IT AND GO READ A BOOK.

5.)  YES, people are going to wear those memes and status updates out about this story until it catches an STD and decides to stop being whored out.

6.)  Nobody knows whether Beyonce was thinking about her image, the fact that her sister may have had a point, or if she had too much Ciroc to defend her husband.  We can only guess or say who gives a damn.

7.)  Solange might resemble Orlando Jones in a picture or 3, but Solange is beautiful.  She's also looked like a ton of other people in various pictures - the late, Aaliyah being one of them.  Leave that damn girl alone.

8.) Solange walked out of that afterparty like OG Bobby Johnson.

9.) Beyonce will kick your ass in a poker game.  That game face DOES NOT CHANGE. She busted her entire ass on stage in that sparkly red dress at one of her concerts and had that same facial expression below while she scraped herself up off the floor and kept whipping her hair back and forth.



10.  There IS a slight chance in hell that Jay-Z could do a rap verse or 2 in the near future providing some type of clue as to what happened.  He wrote about the Cuba situation and several other mishaps that came up, so you never know.

Did The Dream Really Hit His Ex-Girl?! Say it Ain't So...


Goodness, I thought The Dream's past relationship with Christina Milian was messy enough, but now it seems as if his latest ex, Lydia Nam has the producer/songwriter/artist slammed with a charge of felony assault.

Dream is telling friends, the reason he was charged Wednesday with felony assault and strangulation is all because Lydia Nam was about to be kicked out of the U.S.

Her visa is set to expire shortly.  Dream says she found out there's a special Visa that allows immigrants to remain in the country if they're crime victims and they're needed in the prosecution of the perpetrator.  (info courtesy of TMZ.com)


The problem with these types of stories are that some women really DO lie about being abused and hurt all for the sake of material gain, public disposition and the like.  It really makes it hard for women who actually lived through an abusive situation to stand firm on what they went through.  It's hard enough to admit what happened, but to know that some people blatantly lie about things like this only enhances a messed up situation.

Sadly enough, there's a child involved in all this craziness.  It's tragic when your personal headlines are making more noise than your talent.  #OurWorldTheseDays 




A BAD BITCH is EMPOWERING!!!


At least...that's what she thinks she is.

More and more as I spend a few seconds too long on social media, I am finding more and more people talking this subject that really hurts me to my soul - not just for the state of the urban community, but for my little girls that have to exist as adults one day in this craziness.

Jada Pinkett made a video about it (might I add just days before her daughter was shown in a very racy picture in bed with a 20 year old man ((long deep sigh on that one)), but she did comment about this along with a Facebook friend of mine who made a status about this current generation of twenty-somethings and etc. who are influencing a new level of behavior that is hurting us.

The era of the "Bad Bitch" has become VIRAL among the mindsets of many women.  There are a ton of girls and grown ass women who feel empowered and strong when they describe themselves like this.

The only problem is...IT'S FRAUDULENT.

There's a TON of women who claim they would rather not have to deal with the emotional strain of a committed relationship, so they will take the role of a "side-chick", "other woman", or say they aren't worried about what he does. Then in the same breath, complain that they can't trust anyone.  But didn't you just become the untrustworthy party by sleeping with someone's man? Also if there's children involved, the responsibility is usually uneven in broken households, so how can a woman say that she doesn't have to deal with emotional strain when most of the time, they are usually complaining about some level of uneven responsibility?  These feelings are usually masked with condescending and passive-aggressive statuses online and a ton of other crap that doesn't solve anything.

That's not to say in all broken households that the man isn't stepping up, but there's a difference between daily household responsibility and visitation responsibilities.  HUGE DIFFERENCE.

Going back to the "Bad Bitch" label (however), the biggest thing that is so wack about this dynamic is the absence of responsibility.  There's no real effort involved where a male must grow to be a man to provide.  All of this is more of a business transaction where the woman is the object.  Sure, they might be cool with one another, but we weren't built as humans to be alone. We were made to attach to one another.  Just like men are territorial about who they are with and care for, women get attached and eventually want to care for and love the person they put time and energy into.

Once upon a time, we understood this as a society.  Now...everyone is saying things like, "who made these rules" and "some people aren't built for relationships" and blah blah (STFU) blah.  And honestly, THEY'RE RIGHT!  Some people AREN'T BUILT FOR RELATIONSHIPS because they were broken from childhood and put through a lot of bullshit by their environment. They may have been abused by someone as a kid or as an adult and became so afraid of attachment that they come across on these social media pages trying to make other people feel as broken as they are.

There are lot of these wack ass people who come disguised as comedians or whatever they choose to call themselves, but there's no description of an actual mature adult in any of this behavior.

It takes MATURITY to commit yourself to something and someone.  It takes MATURITY to not give into your selfish impulses and to put yourself in the shoes of another person.

There's too many people out here who DISH SHIT THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TAKE.  I think that alone is one of the biggest things that piss me off about this upbringing-deprived set of dumbasses we have out here nowadays.  People who don't put themselves in the position of a person they deal a f*cked up hand to.

I like being appreciated for my appearance just like any other woman, but do I think getting "Likes" on social media mean anything beyond some dudes who want to see how quick they can get me in a bedroom?  HELL NO.

I was taught better than that.  Comments and likes and compliments don't mean SH*T.  Do these people call me to ask me if I'm okay?  Would they give a damn if I was sick, or if my family was going through something?

When the party stops, which one of those dudes that appreciated your ass cheeks splattered online wants to have a deep convo about the future and the legacy you want to leave behind for following generations?  If your parents or relative was sick, who would visit them in the hospital or check on the family?

WHO REALLY GIVES A SH*T ABOUT YOU BESIDES WHAT YOU COULD DO TO BENEFIT THEM?

These assholes don't care about you girl.  They want to get a nut and they want to talk shit about you when they're done.  They want to make you feel like something is wrong with you if you care about something meaningful because "It's just Facebook" and "It's Just Instagram".

All that fix-a-flat you pumped into your ass and boobs...all that MAC you painted on...that sew-in weave down to your fake assets is all so someone can use you, THEN tell you you're good enough to f*ck, but not to love.  Especially chicks that aren't "exotic".  Nah girl, you gotta tell him you got some Spanish or Indian in your family just so he'll halfway treat you like you're worth a dinner before the fu*k instead of just the fu*k.

Ask yourself if you have a kid, if you would be cool with some of the dudes you deal with talking to them.  What about your mom?  Are they good enough to talk to her?

I hate certain slang (GOD knows I do) but the expression, "F*ck N*ggas" is so appropriate for some of these punk ass negros.

I am in no way trying to bash men as a whole, so don't come at me with that BS, but these dudes who RATIONALIZE and try to tell women to lower their standards of being respected as a human in order to "kick it" need to get sent to a "grown man boot camp".

That's what needs to happen.  Men are considered the "head of household" in marriage, they are the stronger beings biologically, so I believe them to be responsible for taking the LEAD.  We have too many men who don't understand that because nobody taught them anything.

How can the cycle stop?  I don't want to say we're doomed and throw in the towel because as a mother, this is the world my girls have to live in.  I honestly don't know how anyone who has a daughter can not be outraged by the patterns we have in society today.

There is a time and place for everything.  A stripper belongs in a strip club.  Porn belongs on porno sites or subscriptions.  Hoes belong on the strip if that's their hustle.  Why we have brought all this sh*t to the mainstream world for everyone to see and be influenced by is retarded as hell.

THE URBAN COMMUNITY is the only branch of the world where we can't seem to understand how to put sh*t in its proper place.  We condone so much ignorance, then wonder why it's there in the first place.  Duhhhhh...because we get these dumbasses paid by tuning in.

Women who tell a dude it's "OK" with their cooch every time he hits, but can't be seen with her in public. Then she has a NERVE to laugh when some wack ass dude makes fun of her type of behavior like it's funny.  This dude just BLATANTLY defined you as nothing.  How did we get so damn stupid?

My rant could go on forever.  And ever.  And EVER.

(This is your ass. Dummy.)

Would an Unappealing Man or Woman Suddenly Become Appealing in the Right Car?!


I remember a male friend of mine said years ago to another mutual male friend that owned a pretty laid out BMW 640i, (something like that) that half his work was done with getting a female because of his car.

I feel like, as much as my father was a true Cadillac man, I never really got attached to cars like that. I definitely don't want to drive around with a car with emphysema that coughs and chokes at me, but I've never wanted a man more because he had pretty wheels.  I just haven't.  And it certainly didn't change my mind if I didn't want him in the first place.  I actually know a lot of lame ass guys with dope rides unfortunately.  I might sound like a hater but I don't give a damn, y'all should know that about me by now.  Call me what you want, but if you have a Jaguar with an '82 Volkswagen personality, that car won't make any chemistry magically appear on my behalf.

Apparently Ray-J has landed a 7-figure TV deal with VH-1 where he spends about 1/2 a million on "His and Hers" exotic sports cars.  He's currently with a ladybug named Princess Love and spent an attractive penny on a Bentley Continental convertible for Ms. Love -- and a Ferrari 458 for himself.  (Info courtesy of TMZ.com)

I mean, most people would say that I've never had a celebrity pull up for me in a luxury car so I need to shut the hell up...and now that I just said that, I probably do.  ((snort laughs))

Met Gala Couples 2014....and etc....



THE COUPLES...
NOTABLE LOOKS AND QUESTIONABLE LOOKS...(YOU CAN DECIDE WHICH IS WHICH)

Did Kimye Get Married? -- Does the Title Matter???


So the rumor is that Kimye are "man and wife" officially on paper, according to reports online. Their publicity team are not commenting on it thus far and stated that they will be holding a private wedding ceremony with roughly 200+ of their closest friends.

My question (however) is, are titles really growing less and less important in relationships?  I know that there are tons of people who blame this whole thing on people being "whores, playas, etc.", but I'm wondering if more people are warming up to the idea of having "no titles" in an effort to "keep the peace" with the person they're dealing with.

My opinion is that being publicly exclusive is a sign of respect for that person and what you are building with them.

Respect definitely seems to be growing more extinct with the times, but I believe that people who are truly committed understand that marriage vows are an expression of the respect you have for your bond.

And who would argue that unless there are other agendas against the relationship involved???

Talk Powerful Sh** To Me!!! I LOVE THAT!!!


Am I the only person here who is NOT attracted to a person I can't talk sh*t to?!

Seriously though.

It's one thing to have a hopeless romantic on your hands, and I totally want someone who thinks of me enough to want to inspire that side, but sometimes you just need the comedy.

My parents have been going strong for 135.6899 years and a good 134 of that was spent with them laughing and talking powerful trash to one another.

He'll tell my mom in a heartbeat how he'll slap the black off of her or that she scares him in the morning, or that my dad's snoring has burned skin off the side of her face at night, but this is all in beautiful fun and a lifetime of being with your best friend.

Now of course there is a balance because of these upbringing-deprived little bastards wouldn't know respect if it kicked them in the family jewels. There's a difference between a little trash talk and being a human box of Massengil.

Tell me how I look like Danny Glover in a dim light sometimes, it's okay...I don't mind.  We can wrestle about it, then we can.... ((snort laughs))

Message To People Who Judge Battered Women (RANT)


Especially other women.

How dare you take another woman's situation and act as if you understand what it feels like to be helpless and torn between your fear, your love and choices?

This isn't directed to any one person.  This was inspired by Housewives of Atlanta star, Porsha Stewart because she made allegations on air that her ex-husband, Kordell Stewart, former Quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers was abusive during their marriage.

Whether she was lying or not isn't my concern because who knows what happened?  We don't. People will speculate and judge on either side.

My stance is the fact that it is easy to tell someone else what they need to do when you don't have to make the hard judgment of altering the course of your life.  This is why I laugh at unattached people who always talk about how emotional someone who IS attached is acting when they can't even relate to the person.

There is a COMPLETELY different mindset involved when you co-exist with a person on an intimate level.  Especially when years, family, property, and memories are involved.

This era of people who are so quick to throw each other away (at least publicly) is so full of shit, it makes me want to gag.  All this "I don't care" crap is like the delinquent child crying out for help and attention.

A battered woman isn't someone who wants to be hurt.  She's not asking to be mistreated.  She probably isn't even stupid.  She's afraid.  She's torn between her better judgment and her courage to demand more of her life.  She needs support.

So many Black people don't know the true meaning of the word, "support".  There's a BIG difference between being supportive versus enabling.  Encouragement rather than condescension.   I don't know a time where a person being condescending worked out for anyone's benefit honestly.  But so many people and their "high horses" want to cluck and bark about some shit they don't know anything about.

So yeah, just like some of you judge those women, I'M JUDGING YOU.  BASTARDS.

Money Mayweather Starting the Fight Early With His Ex-Girl

Goodness.  What's wrong with Black folks?  So, Money Mayweather is set to hit Vegas for his fight against a Spanish guy for the umpteenth time (I'm an asshole, these are just jokes) - his name is Marcos Madiana from Argentina.  But in the meantime, he's making more noise on the personal side of his life.

So, he and his fiance of 4 years, Shantel Jackson (@missjackson on Instagram) split a few weeks ago and their social media pages have been full of all the juiciness and controversy that ratchet lovers could ever want in their life.

The feud wildfire began to spread when Jackson posted a picture of herself and Nelly courtside at the Heat vs. Bobcats Playoff game.  She posted the picture around 7am yesterday (May 1st).

Mayweather then posted a document stating that Jackson had gotten an abortion of their twin babies last December.  This is the picture he posted:




I had to do a zoom into the document because it was rumored that the pregnancy was ectopic (meaning - inside her fallopian tubes and also meaning she would lose the babies).  According to this document (if true), the pregnancy looks like it's where it's supposed to be.  "Intrauterine" meaning, inside her uterus.

To add to this, Mayweather posted a very unflattering picture of Miss Jackson last month seen here:
She responds to this by uploading the same photo of herself with the caption:
What woman doesn't have a day like this.  This reason why I left!!!!  It's been a year now.  Don't you have a fight coming up.

Last night around 8pm, Shantel posted a reply to his instagram post about the abortion:
Allegedly, Shantel split with Mayweather because of his infidelity and links to women she repeatedly heard about, which is a far cry from what his story is saying.

So yeah, why am I talking about all this craziness?  Well...I think the responses from the fans and followers have been more intriguing than the drama itself honestly.  I see many women who have sided with Shantel about her decision to do what's right with her body AND pointing out the fact that she's obviously NOT a "golddigger" because if she was, she had the jackpot right in her tummy.

I have also seen male responses who simply call her out of her name and stress the fact that she has been easily replaced by all the other eligible vaginas (because that's the main body part for women in the industry right?).

My take on it is:  whether she aborted because of a health-issue, or because she was reluctant to become a mother at this time is not for anyone to judge.  People love to speak on things they know nothing about, and love to ridicule until their business becomes front and center of the judgment.

Mayweather needs to act his age AND WAGE (he has too much notoriety to take such a publicly low blow on someone he once claimed to love).  That behavior is for kids who are still trying to figure it out.  I know in 2014, asking any public figure to act like some form of role model is like asking them to visit the moon with no space suit, but I am a firm believer of the saying, "to whom much is given, much is required".

Jealousy can bring out a LOT of ugliness in males and females, but true maturity is where you can understand that we all are bigger than our emotions.  LIFE is bigger than our emotions.  Emotions rise and fall like the sun.  They change like the weather, but life still remains constant and moving. While you are happy, sad, angry, indifferent, or vindictive....life is still happening around you. People are still watching.

He really should handle his emotions better, but knowing his STANS/fans, they will justify his behavior.

The problem is, so many of our peers (20 somethings, 30 somethings, and beyond) fail to understand that all this nonsense usually begins the path towards becoming an older person with regrets.  Imagine yourself at 60 when a lot your shit stops working right.  Did your behavior at a younger age set you up to be content with your life and the people within it?

A lot of people (men and women) are ditching a LOT of their 80% people to rock with that attractive, but worthless 20%.  20% people only care about how you can benefit them, but as soon as the party is over, so is their company.  You'll learn.  Mayweather gonna learn too.  Maybe not today though.  He's too obsessed with his money.


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