Yep. I've had some off the record comments about the last blog post in terms of the freakiness levels and I must say...it's very interesting that I've been told by a few different people that they have personally found BLACK WOMEN TO BE THE MOST CONSERVATIVE IN THE BEDROOM. I broke this down for one of my friends, and he understood where I was coming from. Now I'm going to break it down for my Diary hustle. ((Cracks knuckles and neck real quick)) Okie dokie.
I am willing to believe that this is true about Black women being more sexually conservative compared to other races.
Black women are probably the most conservative for many diverse reasons, but I think one big reason is because they are judged the most harshly in society for their behavior.
Black women are often looked at more as sex OBJECTS, not SYMBOLS - there is a BIG difference. (One big example of this are urban models who are described in many derogatory ways in music).
When someone thinks of a "THOT" (new slang term for hoodrat, scalliwag, whatever, I'm old, so i'll stick to what I know in terms of my SLANGUAGE), they usually think of a BLACK woman.
I believe those factors have helped to put a guard up within black women when it comes to how she responds sexually, or period for that matter.
I believe it may be different for women that are already taken. Their reasons could be more about being underdeveloped (and honestly a lack of confidence) sexually. Some women may really be dry (in more ways than one) in the bedroom, but with women who aren't officially in a committed relationship, I am willing to bet that more of a guard is up about how much she "lets go" and puts into the connection.
Black women overall have a guard up because of double negatives in society and many of those judgments are by other Black people. Black women are not allowed to be selective in love because they are often accused of being their own worst enemy and deserving of loneliness because they simply have a preference or standards like many other human beings.
If a Black woman is overly emotional, she's deemed unstable or crazy for expressing those emotions. If she doesn't respond in emotion, she's often labeled heartless or a bitch for her detachment.
I'm not here to write a biased rant or complain, but to lie and save face about this topic just to win points for being objective would be a lie to myself - and from me to you. Life just isn't fair like that. Much like a man can sleep with 5,000 women and still be Mr. "Such and Such", but if a woman is known to sleep with more than one man, she's labeled forever in society as trashy.
The guys who commented about this to me were referring to single women, so I'm referring more to those women as opposed to ladies who are in an exclusive relationship.
Take the movie, "Think Like a Man". The situation with Megan Good's character was all about her being afraid of letting go too soon before the time was right. The movie showed her insecurities and the whole GAME (yes, it's very much a game) that is played in the early stages of linking up with a person you're interested in. She spent so much time worrying about how she would be viewed by a potential mate that she couldn't just be herself and be free. That's almost a perfect example of what it is in the dating realm of sexuality. You could say well, other races of women can be called bimbos, sluts or any of the like, but those other classes of women aren't dealing with a statistic of 70% of women in their race who file as SINGLE on their taxes. Clearly there's something here to be reluctant about.
Now to be fair, a woman who is sleeping around with multiple men is definitely asking for some permanent "Magic" in her "Johnson" cave, but unless she's aiming for that level of Stankonia with Andre and 5000 of his friends and past sex partners, she's probably just a regular single woman who may be unsure of her comfort level with the guy she's into.
You all can let me know if I'm off base though. I think I'm brilliant to be quite honest. (I kid, I kid).
