Melanie Fiona: "Don't Settle For Less Just To Be In A Relationship"

Necole Bitchie had a "Girl Talk Chat" with 30-year-old Melane Fiona who talked about her recent break up with Adam Rodriguez (that edible-looking Hispanic dude from CSI Miami).

Madame Noire covered this story as well and quoted her on the smartest method to part ways when you break up with your man.

"Remaining calm is generally the best way to approach the situation".  It's so easy to fly off the handle and throw stuff outside, burn stuff, but there is nothing good that comes from that.  There's more strength and power in remaining calm because you've done the work to know what is for you and what is not for you."

I feel like, this situation is always two-fold in my eyes.  Most people will try to play the, "I have no f*cks to give" approach in many break up situations because most people try to save face and look unaffected.  OR, you might actually see the volcano erupting depending on who you're dealing with.

Ms. Fiona's mentality (IMO) is honestly the best mindset to have in a situation that will undoubtedly test your levels of chill.  Especially if there was cheating or lying involved.

But it's definitely more important for you to be okay on the INSIDE.  And the best thing that can help you remain cool during a rough split would be to have the right people around you (aka a DOPE SUPPORT SYSTEM).

Don't start talking to your bitter friends that can't wait for drama to pop off so they can get animated about telling you what you should do - even though all of their advice has NEVER worked in their own situation.

You need to be around the people who will push you to keep moving, to do better, and to vent, but to ultimately let it go and move on.

Most importantly, don't short change yourself.  There are a TON of people who have filed for divorce because they married for all the wrong reasons.  There are also people who married because they were trying to prove something.  Who (exactly) are you proving anything to?  Do you get full off of what these people eat?  Do they pay your electric bill and if they do can you tell them to take a crack at mine real quick?!  After all, behind closed doors, THAT will be the person you have to co-exist and go through this thing called life with.

That brings me into my next topic about women who feel they have "earned a ring".  Oh yes dammit, let's explore this shit.  (Look, I cursed.)

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THIS IS THE PERSON YOU SHOULD NEVER GET ADVICE FROM

You should always consider the source when you take advice from someone.  Many times (especially within the lady population) we will vent to our girlfriends about our lives and try to make ourselves feel better about a situation - after all, it is healthy to vent rather than holding in emotions.  I don't believe the story ever ends well for a person that doesn't ever express their emotions.  BUT, the problem is when we vent to certain people, we often end up with advice that puts us in a really unhealthy frame of mind.  And why is that?  It's because emotions are there and it does not allow advice to be given from an OBJECTIVE and clean slate.

Take Kim and Nancy for example.  Kim is going through problems with her boyfriend.  Nancy is unhappily single and really upset that she never gets to hang out with Kim because  Kim is usually with her man.  Nancy's bitterness (that she will never admit to having) will cause her to give Kim the advice from hell and basically tell her f*ck her boyfriend for doing anything besides being perfect.  Now, if Nancy was being a good friend, she would try her hardest to remove her own personal feelings out of the equation to say what is best for her friend but unfortunately, there are TONS of people out there who would look out for their own interests.  Or, they are ignorant of what the "right thing to do" really is because they can't even get their own personal lives together.

Which reminds me, if you are getting advice from a person whose love life is more screwed up than you, you might want to rethink your judgment and put down that 4th bottle of Corona.  

Misery definitely loves company and even though it may not be Nancy's intention to make Kim unhappy, she will definitely serve her own agenda if it means she can count on Kim to be more available for "girlfriend" time she wasn't getting before.

It doesn't matter if this person knows you more than anyone or if they are family...or "family".  Sometimes these are the very people who don't want you to "do better" because they have a void within themselves.  I'm not saying that you should say eff their face and write them off, but you should definitely find a "Plan B" when you're in a venting mood.

You have to remember that when you kiss and make up with your better half, the audience you had for your venting party will still have the vaseline and boxing gloves with Michael Buffer on speed dial to announce the fighting match with his signature million dollar voice.

Bitter friends are still your friends, but they are NEVER the ones to get advice from.  NEVER EVER. Unless you want to proudly earn your Bitter Birdie membership trophy.

Harsh I know, but true.

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