Melanie Fiona: "Don't Settle For Less Just To Be In A Relationship"

Necole Bitchie had a "Girl Talk Chat" with 30-year-old Melane Fiona who talked about her recent break up with Adam Rodriguez (that edible-looking Hispanic dude from CSI Miami).

Madame Noire covered this story as well and quoted her on the smartest method to part ways when you break up with your man.

"Remaining calm is generally the best way to approach the situation".  It's so easy to fly off the handle and throw stuff outside, burn stuff, but there is nothing good that comes from that.  There's more strength and power in remaining calm because you've done the work to know what is for you and what is not for you."

I feel like, this situation is always two-fold in my eyes.  Most people will try to play the, "I have no f*cks to give" approach in many break up situations because most people try to save face and look unaffected.  OR, you might actually see the volcano erupting depending on who you're dealing with.

Ms. Fiona's mentality (IMO) is honestly the best mindset to have in a situation that will undoubtedly test your levels of chill.  Especially if there was cheating or lying involved.

But it's definitely more important for you to be okay on the INSIDE.  And the best thing that can help you remain cool during a rough split would be to have the right people around you (aka a DOPE SUPPORT SYSTEM).

Don't start talking to your bitter friends that can't wait for drama to pop off so they can get animated about telling you what you should do - even though all of their advice has NEVER worked in their own situation.

You need to be around the people who will push you to keep moving, to do better, and to vent, but to ultimately let it go and move on.

Most importantly, don't short change yourself.  There are a TON of people who have filed for divorce because they married for all the wrong reasons.  There are also people who married because they were trying to prove something.  Who (exactly) are you proving anything to?  Do you get full off of what these people eat?  Do they pay your electric bill and if they do can you tell them to take a crack at mine real quick?!  After all, behind closed doors, THAT will be the person you have to co-exist and go through this thing called life with.

That brings me into my next topic about women who feel they have "earned a ring".  Oh yes dammit, let's explore this shit.  (Look, I cursed.)

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WONDER WIFEY SAID I’M HIS MAIN CHICK!!!!

 Yeah she did.  I was surfing the Facebook waves and came across this picture of a guy I knew with his arm around a girl and the caption below the picture said, "I don't have to have his last name I know I'm his main girl and y'all hatin' a** chicks are just thirsty for what we have...(blah-blah-blah)" - it said something like that.  Alrighty...sooooo my antennas went up about this whole situation because even though I don't talk to the guy and could care less about his personal life, the thing that got to me was the fact that the girl felt the need to be defensive on the caption of her picture.

And why is that?  It was a pretty cute picture of a couple, but the caption communicated one thing to me.  'This is on my conscience and I need to get it off my chest'.  It said to me that the girl probably knows deep down that she needs to demand for more, but she will accept being the "wifey" instead of the ACTUAL wife.  There IS a difference.  And that's not to say that ladies shouldn't stick by their men if they both need time to get ready for marriage (fellas, don't jump in my case).  I'm merely saying that too many women parade around and celebrate out loud about being a guy's MAIN chick when she should be making sure she is his ONLY chick.  Unless the swinger situation is cool with you, and in that case handle your biz, who am I to judge?

But really, I get tired of seeing ladybugs constantly talk about how they're being hated on while the chick that still has your man's scent on her clothes and God knows what else is laughing silently because you are publicly in a relationship and he's not.  Don't try to convince the world on social media that you are the "it" girl for him while secretly knowing he isn't as committed as you are.  Then you reward his behavior by letting the world know he has a dummy....oh I'm sorry...A "Ride or Die" chick who will stick by him regardless of the fool he has made you look like.

I am not saying dump anyone.  I'm just saying watch your words and make sure they are real before you get happy doing the "wifey" dance while Jumpoff Jackie just got done doing that thing to your man that you were too tired to do the night before.  Make him earn the title of being your ONLY just like you have to earn the title of being his.  The Doodle Defense rests.  OH YEAH...HAPPY 2012!!!!

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