Melanie Fiona: "Don't Settle For Less Just To Be In A Relationship"

Necole Bitchie had a "Girl Talk Chat" with 30-year-old Melane Fiona who talked about her recent break up with Adam Rodriguez (that edible-looking Hispanic dude from CSI Miami).

Madame Noire covered this story as well and quoted her on the smartest method to part ways when you break up with your man.

"Remaining calm is generally the best way to approach the situation".  It's so easy to fly off the handle and throw stuff outside, burn stuff, but there is nothing good that comes from that.  There's more strength and power in remaining calm because you've done the work to know what is for you and what is not for you."

I feel like, this situation is always two-fold in my eyes.  Most people will try to play the, "I have no f*cks to give" approach in many break up situations because most people try to save face and look unaffected.  OR, you might actually see the volcano erupting depending on who you're dealing with.

Ms. Fiona's mentality (IMO) is honestly the best mindset to have in a situation that will undoubtedly test your levels of chill.  Especially if there was cheating or lying involved.

But it's definitely more important for you to be okay on the INSIDE.  And the best thing that can help you remain cool during a rough split would be to have the right people around you (aka a DOPE SUPPORT SYSTEM).

Don't start talking to your bitter friends that can't wait for drama to pop off so they can get animated about telling you what you should do - even though all of their advice has NEVER worked in their own situation.

You need to be around the people who will push you to keep moving, to do better, and to vent, but to ultimately let it go and move on.

Most importantly, don't short change yourself.  There are a TON of people who have filed for divorce because they married for all the wrong reasons.  There are also people who married because they were trying to prove something.  Who (exactly) are you proving anything to?  Do you get full off of what these people eat?  Do they pay your electric bill and if they do can you tell them to take a crack at mine real quick?!  After all, behind closed doors, THAT will be the person you have to co-exist and go through this thing called life with.

That brings me into my next topic about women who feel they have "earned a ring".  Oh yes dammit, let's explore this shit.  (Look, I cursed.)

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WHAT’S YOUR PRIORITY SINGLE LADY??? (PART ONE)

I'VE BEEN AWAY FOR A WHILE...BUT NOW I'M BACK MORE LONG-WINDED THAN EVER!!! (HEE-HEE-HA-HA)

Dear Single Woman,

It's cute to say you're "grinding"...it's really admirable to yip yap about the fact that you're doing "you" (whatever that is), when all you're really doing in your mind is trying to carry the 1 and push the equals sign on the calculator about who will sweep you off your feet and marry you.

MY DIARY ENTRY: I WAS DEFINITELY THAT CHICK. CIRCA 2009, I WAS PROPOSED TO AS I WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH MY EX-BOYFRIEND. I FORCED THE MOMENT BECAUSE I FINALLY HEARD THOSE WORDS UTTERED I HAD WAITED A LIFETIME FOR. BUT THE PERSON I WAS WITH PROPOSED ON ONE HELL OF A WHELM. NO RING. NO PLANNED APPROACH TO MAKE IT EVEN REMOTELY ROMANTIC. HE JUST GOT ON HIS KNEES AS ONE LAST ATTEMPT TO SHUT ME UP ABOUT HOW AWFUL OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS. AND I SAID YES. AND WHY? BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I HAD PAID MY DUES.

Most of us...either mid/late 20's...30's...and 40's women at some point begin to evaluate our personal lives, and if we're still unwed, we definitely start having those talks with our closest confidants about the pursuit of Mr. Right.

Problem is, MANY OF US DO NOT KNOW WHAT WE WANT OUT OF A HUBBY!!! Yeah, we claim that we want an honest, respectful, romantic man that has financial stability. But let me tell you what happens in the middle of that sentence before we finish the rest of that ball-faced lie...

WE CONTINUE TO INVEST UNDESERVED TIME TOWARD ALL THE MR. WRONGS BECAUSE WE'RE TOO AFRAID TO SIT THE HELL DOWN FOR A HOT SECOND, CHILL AND WAIT FOR MR. RIGHT THAT IS OUT THERE TO COME GET US.

How many of yall ladybugs out there KNOOOOOOOW deep down that you have a complete LAME, LOSER, LOW-LIFE on speed-dial and need to house down a whole bottle of Moscato (or if you have a powerful stomach...some Captain Morgan - I don't drink anymore BTW...) just so you can entertain him and forget about how pathetic the situation is?

And after that episode ends...you're either repentin' to Jesus or feeling emptier than before you saw him because you know that this isn't in agreement with your conscience.

This is what I KNOW ladybugs. When you develop a true purpose and strive to better your life and focus on the contribution you want to make in the world, in the lives of the people you love, and frankly, find something to do with yourself --- HE WILL COME AND FIND YOU!!!!

On top of that, your surroundings will change for the better. When you have more focus and purpose in your life, you notice that more trivial things that could take up time in your life get pushed further and further to the BACK of your mind. It's called developing standards for your life.

One beautiful thing about being single is that you have time to think independently with fewer emotional distractions. Take that time to KNOW YOURSELF and LOVE YOURSELF and TAKE PRIDE IN WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT. Trust me. He'll come once you stop trippin' about it.

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