WHO HAS A SHADY CIRCLE???

 We all have heard the saying, "Watch the company you keep".  The problem is that many of us have heard it, but haven't LIVED it.  We often allow things like availability, location and boredom to help us figure out who we keep around.  The problem is our judgment system (or lack thereof) often gets us into trouble.

If you ever want to know where you are headed and what direction your life is going, it is a VITAL thing to check out who you are spending time with.  When I say spending time, I mean in conversation, in face to face time, and overall interaction.  If the majority of the people you connect with are constantly in negative situations, always blaming other people for things, have sneaky behaviors, have stolen from you, lied to you (do I really need to add to this list?) then it is time to re-construct your circle.

Many of us know when something doesn't feel right, but we fail to pay attention to our instincts.  And WHY IS THAT?  Why do many of us spend sooooo much time trying to convince others how much crap we won't take off of someone, but when it comes to actually incorporating that into our real life, we turn into Spongebob talking to Mr. Crabs?

There is an alarm in ALL OF US that goes off when we're dealing with someone who is not good for us.  And if there is no alarm, it is either because you have gravitated towards the right people or maybe the bad influence is really you (just saying).

Ladies, how many of you have a friend right now that you need Red Bull and iron pills just to talk to them because that's how much life they sucked out of you after they share their latest soap opera marathon?  I mean, there's nothing wrong with being there for your friends, but if the sum of their conversation usually involves someone potentially getting scraped up off the ground from a powerful a** kicking, YOU NEED TO RE-EVALUATE YOUR LEVEL OF INTERACTION WITH THAT PERSON.

I had a friend a few years ago who was staying over my house for a few weeks until she moved into her own place.  My boyfriend at the time was about to come over and I let her know that.  This girl proceeds to grab a can of air freshener and sprays it down the hall and straight into her own bedroom before he got there.  I was like (pause....looks around).  Now hell, maybe she just wanted to come across as being clean and fresh, but it is quite a suspect thing to observe when you know they have slept with a married man before.

The point is, you have to be aware of your conscience.  There are so many people who allow their insecurities, fears, inner demons, and other negative things influence them in relationships.  If you have people around you (even family members) who you can't be inspired by and grow from....THEY ARE MEANT TO BE LOVED FROM A DISTANCE.  <~~~~ I can't stress that enough kids.  DO NOT allow someone to hinder your evolution because they are afraid to grow themselves.

Be there for them....LOVE THEM...but love yourself enough to control who you exchange energy with.  Period.

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NOBODY CAN SHINE BETTER THAN ME!!!

 I'm tired of chicks that let their friends walk out the house looking set the hell up.  Yeah y'all.

I remember it was Summer of 2007.  I was ready to get my single lady dance on with my sorority sister.  She came to my apartment and I was still trying to get ready so we could go party together.  I went into my room and came out with a pair of plaid short shorts (booty shorts cut) with heels and a dress shirt.  The shorts were very much in style at that particular time.

The second I stepped foot into the living room, my friend had this look of shock on her face as her eyes were darted at my shorts.  Then she asked me, "Are you really leaving out of the house like that?"  I was puzzled by that question and asked her why she would ask me that.  She plainly said, "You want "THAT" kind of attention wearing those shorts out here? Your thighs are RIDICULOUS!"

So I decided to double-take myself in the full-body mirror and see if I saw what she saw.  I really didn't think that I was about to draw that much attention to myself but the fact was that my friend made me aware of something I didn't see on my own.

I kept looking...then I noticed how I looked in movement - bending over and all kinds of fun stuff like that.  Then I pumped my brakes and changed.  I really didn't want that kind of attention.  Being appreciated for my appearance was one thing, but being considered fresh pickings in the "take home" category wasn't quite what I was going for.

Some people might say that she just didn't want me to shine brighter than her or be sexier than her...but usually those people are a walking contradiction or obviously insecure.  She was neither of the two and for good reason.  No homo, but my friend is HOT.  

This is something that I find to be more of a rare quality in friends these days - especially with women.  For some reason, there seems to be an epidemic of relationships that are filled with non-genuine behavior.  "Friends" not truly taking the best interest of each other and playing subliminal competitive games rather than backing one another up.

Now, for some people, friendships take a backseat to family life (especially if you're married) but some people consider their friends to be their "family".  And regardless of either situation, it is still important about the company you keep because some friends are more lethal than people you've identified as an enemy.

And my reason is this:  Any person that you entrust confidential information to should be worthy of it.  Any person that would let a alien-shaped crater hang out of your nose because she secretly wants to demote your appearance is insecure and has let that outweigh their devotion to being a true friend to you.  Be watchful of these individuals.

People and their insecurities will always cripple themselves, but also whomever they spend their time and energy on.  They are draining and really, it's not about abandoning these people, but understanding where they are and what role you will take in their lives, if any.

Choose your circle of trust wisely kids...

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