Nelly Gives Sound Relationship Advice. After Tip Drill. I'm As Shocked As You Are.

Nelly had a lot of valuable things to say to VladTV about why a marriage in the entertainment industry is a "different animal", where the situations should not be measured through a normal everyday person perspective.

Honestly, I can feel his position 100%.  He talked about how the dynamic of the entertainment industry makes it difficult to really connect with a mate because of constant distance.

Then he says, he knows he'll be ready for marriage when there's no question of anything - he will just know.

And this is just my opinion kids. If more of these women would hold their kitty dumplings to a higher standard, it would force men to value it more and settle down.  Good women have to pay for you heaux and even though the industry has always been full of groupie love, the regular folk are imitating that life at an epidemic rate.  

Sexual freedom is one thing, but the majority of women want love.  And I'm sorry, Kanye might wife the one who slept with the homies, but your everyday man who would still put a ring on it wants a woman who he knows holds herself to a higher standard.

(check out interview footage w/ VLADTV.com)

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10 OF THE WORST TYPES OF PEOPLE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH

(Jackie Chan's face is priceless though...LOL)

1. The Know-it-All.

I don't know why some people make it a priority to act like an expert on every issue.  It's almost like saying "I don't really know" is a mark of shame that they'll never be able to live down.  It's okay to simply say, "I don't know".  Annoying little bastards.

2. The One Who Argues In Public.

It’s almost as if this boyfriend/girlfriend feeds off of the uncomfortable energy and appalled expressions of onlookers as he/she gets louder, angrier and increasingly hysterical in the restaurant, or at the party, or wherever you’re regretting going out to, while your insides are filled with humiliation. All of the room’s eyes are on you and while you’re mortified, you kind of understand because you get that this moment would be quite enjoyable to watch if you weren’t involved in it.

3. The Complainer.

It’s too cold. It’s too hot. This is so expensive. This is so cheap. It’s gross in here. It smells out there. This room is too bright. This room is too dim. We’ve been in all day, I want to go out. This place sucks, I want to go home. This is the one that makes life worth stabbing yourself in the kidney.  The only thing that truly sucks is the life that they are sucking out of the day that could be pretty damn great if they weren't so annoying.

4. You're Dating A "Baby".

You just don't match on many things because there's a slight difference in generational perspective.  Getting "Lifted" or turning into a drunky pooh might not be the highest item on your priority list and they look at you like you're a grandparent.  OR...you can't really discuss grown issues or situations with them because their perspective is too premature or sheltered by their lack of experience.  Some people don't mind teaching while others just feel mildly ashamed they're dating a toddler.

5. The Parent-Partner.

They’re less like a lover and more like a chaperone. It’s amazing how often people forget that you’re supposed to have fun with the person you’re dating. It’s not supposed to feel like you can’t be seen laughing or having a good time – this isn’t Matilda where Miss Trunchbull will lock your ass in The Chokey for enjoying life. If you want to spend time with friends or make adult jokes or watch an R-rated movie, you shouldn’t be hesitant to do so because you’re dreading your significant other’s hostile reaction. (SBM.com)

6. The “Realistic” One.

Ah, the dream killing, goal squashing, aspiration slaying lover. Will Smith once said, “Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity.” That’s beyond accurate and who wants to be with someone who encourages practicality and doesn’t further motivate you to do the things you want in life? Embrace high risk, high reward opportunities, attempt the unheard of, live life like it’s the Tumblr search results for the word “inspirational.” It’s essentially impossible to do those things with an in-the-box-thinking lover. (SBM.com)

7. The Possessive One.

The clinginess is flattering and adorable at first, but when you’re treated like a toy belonging to a selfish child long enough it gets exhausting. Stay involved in this too long and people will starting making memes with you and your boo's picture instead of Ike and Tina.

8. The Double Standard One.

If you interact amicably with an ex it’s the end of the world but they think it’s okay to be cool with people they’ve dated in the past. Don’t raise your voice at them, but endure their rising volume during arguments. Don’t have a bunch of women/men friends but they will, so deal with it. There should be some sort of established, mutual understanding that includes equal levels of respect. Double standard enforcers are typically also the controlling types. (SBM.com)

9. The Comparer.

My ex did this. This couple did that. That character that isn’t real life but is incredibly romantic in a movie did this & that. Why can’t you do sweet things like that romantic character in a movie who isn’t real life but did this & that? Seriously, this must be what parents feel like when a kid tries to get permission to go to a party by saying “But, so-and-so’s mom & dad are letting him go!” and slightly offended they respond, “WELL GOOD FOR THEM, but I’m your parent.” Also, the expectations from this person aren’t necessarily high. For example, say their ex was “busy” a lot and turned out to be cheating – well now every time you work late your whereabouts and actions will be questioned. (SBM.com)

10. The Master Manipulator.

Words will be twisted, lies will be told, exaggerations will be made and they’ll hope to sway your opinions and flip the script, turning themselves into the victim and you into a monster. Conversations with this person are a lot like a heavily edited reality TV series that stretches the truth until it can be molded to fit the absurd storylines desired. If you’re not about that VH1 life, don’t even bother. (SBM.com)

DID I MISS ANY OTHER ONES????

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CiCi Maintaining Sexy....in the LAST Trimester!

The beauty of maternity is deeper than any words, I swear!!!  Ciara looks fabulous within her third trimester (aka the Mask of Death, shoot me now, when is this BS going to end I have to pee every 3 seconds and somebody get me some ice cream ASAP trimester).

It's awesome that Ciara is trying to maintain the precious moments of her pregnancy.  

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Jigga Gets A Honeymoon Yacht Instead of Attending the Kimye Wedding. ALRIGHTY.

I can kind of understand how Bey and Jay want to keep their empire out of the messiness of the whole "reality realm" but that's a tough one.  That's your boy.  At the end of the day, I would imagine the two business-savvy gentleman have already come to an understanding about the situation.

What do you all think?  Do you feel like Jay and Bey should be in attendance for his boy's wedding? Or is the pricy several hundred thousand dollar yacht a sufficient exchange for his absence?

"According to Britain’s The Sun newspaper, Jay Z plans on making is absence up to Kim & Kanye by throwing them a lavish wedding party at his New York club 40/40. The paper also reports that Jay’s going to drop $160,000 to charter a yacht for the couple’s honeymoon."

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Kevin Hart's Ex-Wife, Torrei Says She Still Hurts From The Divorce

I seriously had a feeling that Torrei (Kevin Hart's ex-wife) was not at all accepting of his current relationship with Eniko and I was correct.

Initially, I totally understood where Kevin was coming from when he talked about how he settled down at a very early age (early 20s) with a woman and went through a lot of the growing pains that couples usually go through - and he had to do much of this while he was gaining a fan base and popularity.  So you go from a regular Joe on the street to a "big deal" and your standards are tested because you have a new-found selection of opportunities, especially with WOMEN.

But then Torrei comes out in her interview with Jamie Brown from Sister 2 Sister Magazine that she is in fact still trying to emotionally heal from the way the marriage ended when she was the one with him "shooting in the gym".  He has his MVP trophy and is celebrating with this new woman who he refers to as his "rib".

This is a quote from some of that interview:

"It’s easy to be somebody’s rib when you’re a millionaire. That’s just me being as honest as I can. Me, for instance: You’re working at City Sports and I’m taking you to your shows, you’re driving my car, you’re crashing my car several times, and I’m still there for you, supporting you, went out and got a job for the phone company and still making sure I got your back so you can pursue your dreams…That’s what ribs do!”   -- Torrei Hart

So after reading some of the comments on MadameNoire.com, I would have to say these two basically illustrate my thoughts (especially coming from a person who invested almost a decade of my life myself):

(Click on the photo to enlarge)

Kevin is a hell of an entertainer, but I totally disagree with his choice to show off a new woman after the mother of his children invested so much to help him become who he is today.  Put the shoe on the other foot.  Let the woman be the star and let Kevin be the one who supported her.  In society she would be the devil reincarnated.  Trust and BEEEELIEVE.  Double-standards all day, everyday.

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LOVE VIOLATIONS: Are Men and Women Equal on This???

So I got a reply from @TeamLashontae on Twitter about what I said in my blog when it comes to the whole Love Triangle, Square, situation where Tae is now dating Teyana Taylor's ex-fiancee.

I was asked if I would judge the situation the same way if it were between two guys and one girl?
I felt like that was a fair question but the thing is, in society black women have always been judged harshly.  I'll illustrate an example:

Men often complain about women who will take free dinners, outings, etc. in spite of having no romantic interest.   Messed up right?  The woman is blamed in society for this.  

Then, you have a woman who is constantly being dogged out by a man and treated poorly that she continues to invest time and energy into.  She is also blamed for this because she should set her bar higher and demand better behavior, or move on.

BOTH scenarios are dealing with someone being taken advantage of but somehow, the emphasis of the blame is placed more on the woman in both situations.  The double-standard out here in these streets is REAL.   

Personally, I believe BOTH sexes should be responsible for making a conscious judgment of who gets their time and effort based on actions.  If someone isn't reciprocating behavior you feel you are showing them, then it's time to let it go or just do you and stop complaining. 

So back to the question I got about whether I would look at the situation differently, I have to say I WOULD.  But not on purpose.  I think I'm conditioned to believe that men get away with doing more things like this (especially in Hollywood, the "industry", whatever you want to call it). It doesn't make it any less messed up though.

Point blank, most people do things not considering how they would feel if it was done to them. On the outside looking in, it definitely seems that way.  Lashontae is gorgeous so I can imagine that she deals with her selection of many approaching her and with that daily struggle, being moral about things probably gets lost in the shuffle of living her life.

Feel free to add/subtract to what I'm saying though.  Any thoughts on this?

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The Chick That Wants Everyone To Want Her

I was talking about this earlier today.  I've seen all ends of this situation.  I've seen women who actually show you CLEAR AS DAY that they're about that, "I want your man to see what he's missing" life, and I've also been accused of being that woman myself.  Yep.

First of all, the ONE CHICK that accused me years ago - if she had spent more time worrying about not coming across like a man and being so damn unattractive, my attractiveness wouldn't have made her feel some type of way. (Yeah, I said it).  Secondly, I find it very funny when someone who turns out to be promiscuous as hell would lie on someone else of being about that life.  Gotta love a**holes that deflect what they actually do themselves on other people.

THEN, I was talking to a dear friend of mine, and she told me how she actually grew up as a teen watching her mom deal with some of the shadiest characters on the planet where a woman was actually masturbating on her mom's couch while others were in the house!  And given the truthful nature of my friend (I know she doesn't make stuff up like some other people I used to be around), I believe that actually happened.

But even on a less WTF note, I don't think there's anything wrong with a beautiful confident woman being bubbly or high-spirited, but I have been around some women who really stunt in front of other women's men and then have the audacity to say that the girlfriend or wife is insecure.  I was thinking, you need to be glad she's only insecure and not violent because if I was her, you'd be finding your teeth on the ground.  Proud Scorpio in the building ((raises hands to the roof)).

I don't play that crap, I'm sorry - people can say what they want to say.  If I invest my precious time, energy and my heart with a person, WHAT WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO is entertain someone coming through smiling in my face and my man's face while she's secretly scooting closer towards him.

Unless they have an open relationship dynamic, she needs to sit down or be sat down.

But there is a difference between women who cry for attention, and women who just get it anyway.  Every woman who turns heads is not an attention whore.  She might just have a presence.  There's a Yin and Yang to many things.

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Sooo...Was Tae Heckard In the Wrong for Locking Down Teyana Taylor's Ex Fiancée?

My question about the whole thing is, how close do you have to be to a person before their leftovers become "off-limits"?

Apparently Tae Heckard (star in show, The Game, actress and video vixen) has caught hell from friends of Teyana Taylor for putting up photos of her being very cozy and happy with Teyana's ex-FIANCEE, Detroit Pistons player, Brandon Jennings.  Tae announced that her and Brandon were official and received many well wishes on Instagram from people after her split from rapper Nelly.  Then she received a message from one of Teyana's male friends:

"Wait? Wasn't you and @teyanataylor just together in LA?? This is crazy. This is why Teyana be pissin me off! Because She speak so highly of b***h like you calling you her "SIS" and then you do sh-t like this behind her back smfh and you know that's her ex-fiance! Foh everybody knows that!"  --- the friend wrote.

So again I ask,  would most women agree that if another woman they're cool with began dating someone they were with (let alone engaged to), would they be in the wrong or does it depend on their closeness level?

I'll just say this:  I was engaged.  I can say that I relate to Teyana with having a previous relationship that lasted many years.  We were also off and on like Teyana was with Brandon.  If I were to find out someone I'm even remotely cool with started seeing him, let's just say my chill levels would be non-existent in that situation.  IDGAF.  I don't care how that looks, I'm not here to front and tell fairy tales about how I wouldn't care, etc.  That "have no f*cks" movement is for the 25 and younger kids, I'm going to be pissed.  Violation is violation...period, point blank.

I don't know the nature of Teyana and Tae's relationship so that's what made me present the question, but anytime you deal with someone's leftovers, you're playing with fire.  Why? Just flip the script and put yourself in the other person's position.

In the "industry", I think the rules are as loose as most of the men and women, but for people that actually take bonds, friendships, and relationships seriously, there is a level of saying, "I don't respect you enough to consider your feelings in this attraction I have" when you decide to mess around with someone you know should be "off-limits".

Circles are small and honestly, I think that for some people, it makes the situation even more attractive.  Some people crave controversy and playing it dangerous.  Either way, I couldn't knock Teyana if she was hurt by it - especially if she thought Tae was really her friend.

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Mimi & Nikko VERSUS Joseline & Steebie J (Commenting on RATCHETNESS)

I do believe this is the recipe that Mona Scott-Young has blended up for her full course menu of well-done ratchetness.

A lot of people have spoken their peace about the whole Mimi/Nikko sex tape situation in the past week and most of it is pretty expected in terms of saying Mimi is old, she's a mom, shouldn't be doing this, blah blah blah.

HERE'S MY TAKE ON IT THOUGH...

What better situation to add to the mix of Love and Hip Hop than to make Mimi and Nikko the same type of duo that Stevie J and Joseline have become?

The only problem is, as much as I could judge Steebie J and all his whoredom, I feel like who he is and who Joseline is is GENUINELY just what it is.  Stank or not, I believe them.

You can always tell who is naturally interesting (personality-wise) and who is trying and this Mimi/Nikko gimmick was an idea to use the oldest trick in the book to make "blah" people interesting (AKA the usual problem with reality TV, which is why most of us always talk about old, classic shows with talented folk - I digress though). Some people who make money being naked are just freaks or know they have great bodies, but Mimi would have shown that from jump if that was her true hustle.

I'm just saying, I don't like frauds.  The people who have tuned into Love and Hip Hop ATL know that Joseline has never had any cut cards about who she is.  She's real about herself and where she came from.  So when I see someone who initially judged people and called them whores, prostitutes, etc. come out with a tape for the whole world to see her Kitty Snack Packages, I feel like WACKTIVITY levels are at an all-time high.  I need someone to donate some folded chairs to this mid-life crisis having Tinkerbell so she can have a damn seat.

And of course VH-1 can't take the credit for the nature of this f*ckery, but Mona Scott is the Pimp of the 2010s, I tell ya.  Black folks are somethin' else.

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Ma$e the Rapper/Pastor/"I'm Back, but Not Really" Has Been Making Bank Faking "Happy"

Mase, the former Diddy sidekick (back in the "Puffy" days) has been making some pretty good money off of being a devoted hubby to his wife, Twyla selling marriage books, and throwing events based around their relationship.

The only problem is that according to TMZ, Mase and his wife have been playing a little game of, "Who can fool the public the BEST?"

Mase filed for legal separation, then Twyla followed up with filing herself, and then Mase filed for a full out divorce earlier this year.   In legal documents that TMZ allegedly discovered on Mase, the separation documents were filed back in May of 2012 - aka, 2 YEARS AGO.

So in the meantime, Mase and Twyla have publicly been the "stand up couple", using their marriage as a means to rack up from people who are investing in their advice.

The hustle is real, huh?

Honestly it doesn't surprise me.  We don't like real sh__ any more anyway right?  I would have respected them more if they had just been real about their problems to earn a dollar, but it resembles a lot of activity (IMO) with certain members of various places of worship.  Instead of building a following off of being honest, people often elect to be looked up to and create an unrealistic facade where they are "strong enough" to withstand the temptations of the flesh.  I'm not in any way trying to disrespect the church, but this is why nurture my personal relationship with GOD.  I often find people that get in the mix of churches so deep that they start to prioritize expectations of other members over their own belief systems and walk with GOD.

Anywhoo...it would be nice if this wasn't true, but damn homie, can't you find a hustle you're actually good at?!  (Thinks to self: That was mean).  #ShrugLife

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