SIX Reasons Why Ciara & Future Should Make You Go AWWWWW...

What is better than showing off each other to the world and looking excited to do it?!  Future is cheesing while CiCi gave you the "I'm dope bishes, Zoolander" stare.

I don't usually have "favorite couples", but I love the ones that seem so "in-sync".

Artistically, this pic speaks 1000 words.  She's leaning on him looking care-free and happy.  

But look at his shirt!!! Just....AWWWWW!!! I love LOVE.  Especially Black love.  I love LOVE period, but you get my damn point.  It's just so damn awesome.

And Ciara didn't even slap him for accidentally tweeting the sex of their baby.  Can't wait to see what the little pooh will look like in HIS pimped out nursery!

She's just so damn cute.  I'm totally being a chick right now, I don't give a damn.  AWWWW SUGAFOOT, HONEY DIP!!!

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10 Things I'm Glad I Didn't Do In My 20s...

(Me at 30...but don't I look 20?! -- ((snort laughs))

1) Get Married -   As much I can't wait for that magical day to walk down the aisle and begin that lifetime journey, I realize how underdeveloped I was as a person.  As much love as I had in my heart, I was in no way, shape or form ready for the responsibility and understanding that comes along with having a strong and functional marriage.  I think it will always be a learning experience as you go, but I know many people who say they wish they would have waited until they were more mature and gotten more experiences out of their system before making such a big step.


2) Get A Billion Tattoos -  If I acted on every impulse I had for some ink in my 20's, I would have a lot of sh*t on my body that I'd frown upon now.  I'm not knocking anyone who has that fancy graffiti but personally, I think that the permanent nature of a tattoo should have some in- depth thought involved behind it.  I know there were some times back then that I wanted to get one just for the sake of having one.


3) Being Afraid Of Friend/Family Opinions - I was very affected by the opinions of others as a child.  I was too self-aware and I was miserable because of it.  At some point of being treated very poorly by people that I cared for the most (mostly people I called my friends), I woke up and realized that I had to start listening to my heart and trust God more.  I tapped into my passions and let go of my doubts.  I took more risks and didn't apologize about it.  I knew the people that were meant to be in my space would still be around and respect my independence.


4) Blaming Others For Choices I Made -  At the end of the day regardless of what I wasn't taught or where I came from or who I came across, THIS IS MY WALK, MY JOURNEY, MY LIFE. Playing the blame game for anything I don't have or didn't like that happened is only hurting my own growth and progress.  I am thankful that I learned (somehow miraculously) to hold myself ACCOUNTABLE for what I have or don't have in my life.  This is how I operate and that mindset has carried over into the present day.  I believe THIS is what it takes to grow in so many successful ways and areas of life.


5) Sticking With Jobs That Didn't Teach Me Anything -  I am too talented of an individual to have my time and energy wasted where it is not being properly utilized.  There is a question with employers about an individual's longevity and commitment to a job, but for entrepreneurs like myself, my commitment to authenticity and life purpose is more important.  The longest position I have held (personally) was 4.5 years at a bank (hated it).  If you are stagnant and miserable working at a job, make steps everyday to finding out (1) what you would rather be doing (2) what steps you need to take in order to qualify for the job/business (3) don't allow people to diminish your desires (4) remember that life is too short to be confined 8 or more hours a day doing crap that means nothing to you.


6) Following the Crowd -  F*** the crowd.  Like, seriously...  I don't know too many substantial people that fulfilled their destiny by copying the footsteps of others.  I don't try to give myself credit for being influential, but I know I am - however small the influence, I know I do.  I believe that when you tap into your spirit and understand that we all have unique gifts from a higher power that were made for something bigger than us, it is easy to let the crowd be there while you shine and stand out.


7) Holding On To Friends That Subtract From My Life Value -  There are some people who will never be 100 with you.  Some won't even give you 50.  I refuse to keep people around for the sake of not being lonely because I would still feel alone having 20 friends around knowing none of them truly gave a damn about me.  I don't care about stunting for Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and trying to make it look like I have an entourage.  Some people are assholes and treat you like shit and I refuse to be a part of nonsense when there are better alternatives.  You better believe the people I rock with go just as hard for me as I do for them.  #Thankful


8) Ignoring Karma -  I promise on everything I love, I have so many reasons to be spiteful, bitter, angry, just an awful person in general based on things some have done to me in the past.  For a few people that have caught me in the morning, they might say they know that chick (I apologize for my Tourettes at the top of the morning by the way), but I have morals.  For all the wrong that I know has been done to me in my life, I realize that some situations are bigger than me.  I am a firm believer that things come back to haunt people that do jacked up things to folks.  I don't even anticipate that though.  I thank God that I have the type of heart where I don't harbor hatred for people.  Hatred is a prison for some people and they don't even realize it.  It's crippling and it can eat away at you.


9) Settling -  If you aren't happy, you just aren't happy.  I know that the times I felt need for a change, I tried to make steps to fix the problem.  I definitely made mistakes, but I refused to settle for things that I knew deep down in my heart were just wrong.  And more importantly, wrong for me.  I have no regrets because I know that in many important areas of my life, I put forth my best effort to improve things that needed changing.  (Advice: Don't ignore problems, face them and know that you have every right to have peace of mind within your life).


10) Have Drake To Hear On the Radio -  YOLO has a lot of dumb ass young people doing dumb ass shhhhhh...  Granted, I could make the same list of things I'm not glad that I did do in my 20's, but one thing I knew was that with certain things, you have to be careful.  I said goodbye to a dear friend when I was 20 who died in a car wreck and a host of others that were in bike accidents, and lots of other things that took them away from this life.  And more than the possibility of the worst happening, I believe that people in their 20s should have some aspect of the future.  There are too many of you who don't have a direction, a desire you are aware of, a PURPOSE.  And not having these things turns you to the wrong things and people for a false sense of fulfillment.  Living and experiencing is fine, but knowing to LEARN FROM YOUR EXPERIENCES is an invaluable skill to have embedded in your brain.

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She Posted An Ad Congratulating Her Husband and His Mistress On Pregnancy

Alrighty!  So, you find out that your spouse not only cheated on you, but there is a child on the way as a result.

In a story via iDateDaily, Texas wife, Timeshia Brown, decided to purchase an ad in the local Hemphill, Texas newspaper in order to publicize her husband’s affair.  She congratulated her husband and his mistress on their pregnancy.

The ad initially surfaced on Facebook and went viral on Reddit, but it has opened a national dialogue about passive aggressive forms of revenge. 

The ad says: 

“I would like to say congratulations to Shara Cormier and Patrick Brown… They are expecting a baby. Hope you both are really in love and I hope it works out. Always, Patrick’s wife, Timeshia Brown”

Hmmm...so, in this situation what should she have done?  I have a feeling she would have been criticized regardless of what she did in response, but I know that reactions deemed as passive-aggressive never help an already bad situation.

Controlling our emotions can truly be one of the most powerful things you can ever do in your life and not because of saving face when someone hurts you, but understanding that in the midst of us succumbing to our feelings, we might spend way too much money, harm our bodies, harm someone else, get in trouble, affect our children or younger bystanders, and a host of other things. 

When your world is turned upside down, it's hard to think clearly but that's why it's important to have a solid support system around that can be a voice of reason that can help to look out for your well-being.  Not someone who feels they would benefit from your hard times (this includes people who want to be with you, lonely friends, jealous friends, by the way I use the word "friend" loosely on the last two examples).

I hope somehow, she comes out of her situation with peace of mind in knowing that she is better off not becoming a member of the circus her husband created.  

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He Told Shakira "NO MORE MEN"...(Was He Wrong?)

On Billboard magazine’s new cover story, Shakira has admitted that her boyfriend Gerard Pique doesn’t allow her to make music videos with men anymore.

“He’s very territorial, and since he no longer lets me do videos with men, well, I have to do them with women,” the 37-year-old singer says in Billboard’s March 2014 issue. ”It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to."

So my question would be is this a healthy situation?  (Okay, I'll answer this one)  I believe it most certainly IS.  I am a firm believer that any man who says he's comfortable with his woman being all cozy with another dude (paycheck involved or not) is either not truly into this woman or he's into another woman (literally).

I know I would want my man to check me on things that make him feel like I have the potential to cross his line of comfort.  Of course, some things I believe we should already know - but forget that "saving face game", "I'm not insecure BS".  Most of us are not into sharing a person who we have claimed as ours, and I believe men are naturally territorial unless there's a disconnect.  

Gentleman, please correct me if I'm mistaken though. (smiles)

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Nia Long: "Don't Lose Yourself In Motherhood"

Nia Long was a guest at the Tyler Perry Show on the OWN Network recently and spoke about single motherhood to promote the new movie, "The Single Moms Club" that will be released this Friday, March 14th.

She spoke a lot about the pressures of being a single parent and says this film is here for women gain a helpful perspective on things within that role.

KEY QUOTES FROM NIA LONG TO TYLER PERRY:

"Don't lose yourself in motherhood because one day your kids leave and when they do, you may not have a clear sense of yourself."

"You have to re-introduce yourself constantly because after you become a parent, you are not the same person as you were before having kids."

"You don't "think" about being a mother and what it takes...you just DO it."

"The kids come first.  Doesn't matter what your profession is, you just do what you have to do."

"I have a mother who helps me and we work it out."

"You are not alone, we all go through the same things.  We should all come together and support one another, and if we did that a little bit more, you might even get a date!"


I remember when I became a mother and went back to college a year or so later, I came across a very well-dressed psychology professor who seemed so well-spoken, well put together and confident.  I really admired her and paid a lot of attention to the things she said.  I remember going to get dinner with her one time and I already knew she had a son at a young age (at the time I believe he was 13-14).  She told me that lots of single mothers get told that "it's not about them anymore, it's about the kids".  She said that while it's true your priorities change because of your special role, your happiness and peace of mind are important as well.  Many of us have passions, interests and personalities that don't get an opportunity to flourish because of outside opinions - family, spouse, significant other, friends, etc.  But parents are important too!  Our mental health and happiness equates to the happiness of our children and our loved ones.  It all works together and goes hand in hand.

I never forgot Sharon "Zoe" Spencer (my Psych teacher).  I carry that with me to this day and I know it was meant for me to meet her because she fed my spirit the motivation to understand my desires mattered, even if no one in my close space understood.

It does take balance (however).  And balance is not an easy skill to master, which is why it's important to check yourself often and have a plan, a schedule, and clear, specific goals.  There may not be as many hours in a day as we all would like sometimes, but small efforts everyday contribute to greatness in whatever area you put your energy into.

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Miki Howard & Michael Jackson: This Type of Thing Happens A LOT

So many people have heard about the alleged story of a recent DNA test that has many people wondering if the late, better than great Michael Jackson fathered a child some 31-32 years ago with Grammy-nominated singer, Miki Howard.

There are reports that a DNA test came out positive between Michael and Miki Howard's son, Brandon Howard that was said to be born around 1981 and also rumored to be the child referenced in MJ's 1982 hit song, "Billie Jean".

Miki Howard released a statement this past Friday about the situation:

“I love and support my son and the Jackson family. The Jacksons are good very friends. They are beautiful people and have always been loving and supportive of me and my career. As to this claim – at this time I am not at liberty to discuss this as it is common practice in our business that celebrities have non-disclosure agreements. And, we are NOT suing anyone,” Howard said.

By the way…I am NOT ‘Billie Jean!"

So basically she didn't answer the question, which leaves most people to believe that there's some seed spreading shenanigans going on.  Then a statement released from Brandon Howard himself about everything:

“I’ve never self-proclaimed to be Michael Jackson’s son,” he said in a

Facebook video.

“I’m definitely not suing the estate. I’m taken care of very well. And

also, I make my own cash, OK?”

So with all that being said, this matter has me thinking about all the women who (in my own lifetime) I have been aware of creating confusion about who the father of their child was.  I remember being somewhat close to a girl about 10 years ago who gave birth to her son, but was unsure between 2 guys who actually got her pregnant.  She told me straight up that she was going to pick the guy who was more financially stable to let him know she was expecting his child.

And although the situation isn't identical to this one, it really makes me think about that "mommy's baby, daddy's maybe" saying.

I also remember this guy that I worked with who I knew was a man whore and he left his Facebook open on one of our work computers.  So one of the IM boxes were open with this girl telling him how she wasn't going to bother him about the fact that a child she just gave birth to may be his.  So of course I did the honorable thing and scrolled back up to check the IM conversation for grammatical errors (evil grin) and noticed that she was letting my old co-worker know that the child looked very much like him.  He responded to her by saying he wanted to see the child, but he did not deny or claim the baby.  The biggest thing that was so ironic to me (however) was how she was so ready to relieve him of any potential ties and responsibility to the child!

It really made me wonder if this happens a lot where the woman makes these type of substantial connections or separations from father to child.

What do you all think?

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Kyla Pratt Was Smart To Keep Her Privacy On Lock

"I just feel like that was something personal that I wanted to experience and enjoy myself. Especially with social media nowadays, people are able to reach you so easily and say what they want to say without any consequences. And when you’re pregnant, you’re hormonal, you have a lot of things going on. My fear was somebody saying something, and it really affecting me when it doesn’t really matter."

So when I announced I had a daughter, we got a lot of backlash, but I didn’t care. I had my baby. But when you’re pregnant, you don’t know what somebody’s gonna say or what’s gonna affect you or how you’re gonna feel. And I just felt like that was just something personal that… I loved my pregnancy! Every moment! I wasn’t hiding! You thought I was sitting in the house with the shades drawn? Like, no! I went to Disneyland eight months pregnant. I had a HUGE baby shower. I just had people around me who respect me and understand where I was coming from.

But I also feel like if I was to have another baby and if I had something to promote, I wouldn’t mind being on the red carpet to promote that. But I’m not just gonna be on the red carpet just to be on the red carpet. I’ve been in this business for a very long time, so getting attention is not something that excites me. So if I have something to promote or project to tell people about it, I’d have no problem walking around like, ‘Hey! Look at my bump!’ But if I was just chillin’, I’m just chillin’, enjoying mommyhood and decorating nurseries and stuff like that."  - Kyla Pratt

THIS is a great example of a person who LIVES the part instead of trying to LOOK the part.  It's the equivalent to people who go to an event and spend so much time snapping photos, but they aren't truly living in the moment.

For an actress like Kyla Pratt, I respect her decision to keep her pregancy sacred because most actors in her position would jump at the opportunity for extra press, TV show offers, magazine covers, etc.

The internet has that "Beauty and the Beast" dynamic.  A planet of beautiful disasters.  As many opportunities as you have to expose something you might want to share with the world, you also have this side where people come across like complete a**holes and throw up their gang signs behind the computer screens.

I remember how I used to react to seeing YouTube comments and it was so crazy to me how something as simple as a "dislike button" being available opened up a world of people who can't wait to verbally attack you for your opinion or creation.

It's just life in 2014 I guess.

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Why Do Ladybugs Fake Orgasms So Much?

Is it a common courtesy thing to pretend like you received the ultimate sexual gratification from your partner in bed?  Is this like a "fake it til you make it" kind of thing?

Some women are more honest while other women seem to contribute to the boosted egos of men who believe they've laid the smack, when in reality they probably teased the lady cave, ticked at the letters E and F but no G spot (I'm going to stop trying to build up these metaphors because I suck at it right now).  You get my point though.

So, what's the disconnect?

Researchers from Temple University believe they have finally found the answer.

After surveying 366 women between the ages of 18 and 32, researcher Erin Cooper found that among the 60 percent who said they fake it, many of them admitted doing it because they were scared of intimacy or "insecure about their sexual functioning."

My guess is also that the mental to physical connection is not fully in place.  I believe that you have to truly be engaged from both angles to build up that height of sexual climax and many times, ladybugs don't get to that point - which results in one-sided gratification.

BASICALLY MEANING...

She needs mental love making as well.  She wants to feel beautiful, desired, and like the only person that exists to you (especially in that moment).  That's not to say she needs you to be delicate with her (smiles), but to help create chemistry within that moment will be priceless for you and her - trust me.

TOP MOOD SETTERS

1) Good conversation - engage her THOUGHTS before you engage in her panties

2) Pre-Planning - when a woman can see you've actually put conscious thought into a special time with her (and I don't mean money...I mean the EFFORT), you will set sail to her lady waters like a BOSS.

3) Genuine ATTENTION - OMG...I cannot stress this enough.  If she knows she has your undivided...she will divide those legs with excitement.

4) Subtle touching/massage - build the tension up.  Tell her how she looks, what you want to do, what you're thinking, doesn't have to be poetry but your gentle touch mixed with your voice is recipe for fun rodeo adventures.

5) BE PLAYFUL - ENJOY each other's company!!!!  Try to be each other's natural stress reliever and play something together to create laughter and good times.  Those moments count!!! 

Ladybugs...just let me know if I left anything out.  And happy humping to everyone!!! (I'm an ass, I know) 

MUAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

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Pet Peeves Women Have About Their Men (Reader Responses)

SO...
My ladybugs in RELATIONSHIPS gave me some very thoughtful feedback on this topic. So I dropped my 99 cents.... 



I don't like my boyfriend's friends because all of them chase skirts as a hobby...
I would let him know how you feel about his friends and if you're uncomfortable.  Respectfully, but he should know that you're aware of their behavior.  You should be able to tell if he thinks like his friends by his overall philosophy about things/people/women.  Just pay attention and communicate.

He's always asking me what I want to do instead of just taking me somewhere...
Tell him what you would like him to do.  He can't read your mind, but also let him know you appreciate spontaneity (whispers...) tell him it turns you on! LOL

I have to remind him to pay his bills and keep track of everything.  I'm his wife and his secretary!
If that's a weakness he has, sometimes our strengths can balance out things like that.  I would get over it unless it's truly inconveniencing something you need/want to do.

He leaves the bathroom looking like a war zone with hair, clothes and crap everywhere...
Sometimes we have to take the good with the bad.  I would say balance is the key.  Nothing wrong with cleaning up after the hubby but if he's taking advantage and treating you like his maid service, I would bust him upside the head with a box of cereal.

We never want to do it at the same time!!!
This always sucks but communication is the best way to handle this.  Compromise too.  If you know you've bended (in more ways than one) with this, then tell him what you want from him as well.  Make it worth his while to be more on your schedule too...lol

I don't think his mom likes me.
Well, I think the important thing would be trying to figure out why you feel this way.  If you know why she may not like you then I would go with my instincts.  If something is telling you to reach out to her, do that and see if it makes for a better situation.  Some men are "mamas boys" and are the "main men" to their moms (especially single ones).  Just make sure you aren't being neglected in that sense but if it's something else, try to search for answers and go with your gut.

Anytime I hang out with my girlfriends he gets an attitude with me, but when he wants to hang out with his friends I'm supposed to be okay with it.
The good old "double standard".  We should all know who we're dealing with when it comes to our other half.  The best way to deal with this is to be straight up about how you feel.  Don't do the "tit for tat" game.  Emotionally it can be hard to express yourself when you feel attached and don't want to come across clingy, but you have to be real with yourself and honesty is better than trying to act like you're unaffected if you really are.  TALK ABOUT IT.  Respectfully.

He lets his kids destroy the house and when I say something to them, he yells at me.
Unfortunately if you aren't his wife (which I know you aren't yet), you have to step back and woosah at the situation.  Some battles we have to pick and choose.  If you are paying rent with your man (however), you have every right to speak up about the upkeep of the house and what you want him to do.  Again, COMMUNICATE.  But do it when you are not upset.  Respect is always the key.

He's too lazy when we're having sex, he always want me on top.
Try to introduce something different in your sex situation like a game, new location, video, play fight, etc.  I say this because he might be bored with the regular routine so switching things up by being spontaneous may be what you need to inspire him.  If that doesn't work, shove a sock in his mouth while he's sleep.  (I kid...I kid)

We never have any alone time, it's always family night.
SCHEDULE IT!!!  SCHEDULE IT!!!  SCHEDULE IT!!!  Find a sitter one night and plan something special.  You can have fun with your girlfriends shopping for some sexy lingerie and smell goods.  Planning is the key!


He works less than I do, but I'm always doing the cooking.  He sucks in the kitchen.
Tell him some nights you aren't going to cook.  You shouldn't feel like a slave to the stove so don't put that pressure on yourself.  He should know you will take care of home but not at the expense of feeling run down.  BALANCE my dear!

He's always buying some damn sneakers!  Priorities are trash, he owes everybody including me!
No one can take advantage of you unless you allow them to.  If he's abusing your generosity then you have to let him know you can't continue to enable his bad spending habits.  Of course you want to make him happy, but your happiness is important too!  See how bad the situation is and trust your instincts.  Let him know it's okay to spend but ONLY IF YOU HAVE THE MEANS TO!  

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Dwyane Wade's #WCW Goes to His Fiance' -- Was She Right To Forgive?

Dwyane Wade is best known in the press nowadays for being a liar and cheater who recently fathered a child outside his relationship.  Gabby Union is known for accepting his plea for forgiveness and also taking some of the blame for his indiscretions.

He posted this picture on his Instagram yesterday with this caption:

My #WCW my #beautifulblackqueen… My Life mistakes gave me you and my life mistakes almost made me lose you but your love has conquered all and I hope to spend the rest of my life with you…

Many people have had reacted negatively towards his behavior and her decision to reconcile and continue with their engagement but my question towards this matter would be, what factors should be accounted for in a situation like this?  It's easy to say he dogged her out and disrespected their relationship (which he did), but their situation is much like many situations where the woman decides to forgive and grant another chance to their relationship.

I saw a quote today by an author today that read, "There is a difference between LOYALTY and STUPIDITY."

Then there's also the famous quote said by Bob Marley that says, "Everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to know the ones worth fighting for".

We always look at external factors - the judgment of society and our peers, family, religion, many things to help guide us when it comes to our decision-making.

I believe a person who you truly find happiness in would be someone that's not easy to just walk away from, even when they give you reasons to.

In the entertainment world especially, where you have so much temptation around you on a regular daily basis, I would imagine she knows what she signed up for.  It doesn't make it right, but relationships aren't about who's right and who's wrong.  They are about the CONNECTION.

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