That's the
line I hear all too often.
I know much
of my blog directs emphasis on women getting their minds right about
relationships. But one big problem I have with the way men and women
operate in relationships is the fact that no one ever wants to take ownership
for the part they contribute to a problem. There is usually a person who
sees themselves as a victim and that makes it harder to resolve the situation.
CASE IN
POINT: The marriage conversation. There are so many people who honestly
think that MARRIAGE creates problems for relationships and makes life too
complicated. I have heard MEN and WOMEN say this. Kind of similar
to how people will say Facebook ruins relationships when in reality it’s the
people on Facebook who fail to conduct themselves like they have good sense.
When a
woman is treated poorly by a man she is involved with, many times the blame
game will begin with the guy getting a bad wrap for being a liar, cheater,
perpetrator, and etc. SAME FOR THE GUYS – they will often call a baby mom
or an ex “crazy” when he probably gave her every reason in the world to lose
the last rational brain cell in her head. WHEN WILL WE UNDERSTAND THAT
THE SOLUTION TO THE WAY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL BEGINS WITH LOOKING IN THE DAMN
MIRROR?
Why are you
mad about finding out a guy you were seeing has this whole life and world that
you knew NOTHING about when you never made it a requirement to know certain
information about him? “Never making it a requirement” equals breaking
him off with the sexual goods, making time for him, and anything else you
prematurely allowed him to take advantage of before you knew BY HIS ACTIONS
that he was just as devoted to you.
Fellas, why
are you mad at a girl you dogged out and didn’t make a top priority when she
decides she deserves better and leaves? Why are you expecting her to play
her role as the leading lady when you still have other chicks auditioning for
her part? And then to add insult to injury, you have the audacity to say
that she was supposed to hold you down through thick and thin.
THE ONLY
WAY TO BREAK A CYCLE IS TO BEGIN SOLVING THE PART OF THE PUZZLE THAT YOU HAVE
CONTROL OVER AND THAT IS YOURSELF. REALIZE THAT YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE THE
STANDARDS YOU EXPECT ANOTHER PERSON TO MEET FOR YOU IS THE SAME STANDARD YOU
SHOULD BRING TO THE TABLE YOUR DAMN SELF.
And this is
not just financially. This is not just a one-dimensional situation.
If you are the type of person who talks about people behind their backs, what
the hell are you upset about linking up with a person who you realize does the
same thing?
Think about
it like this. When you decide where you want to live, you are investing
money into something that can be permanent if all goes well. Most people
do their homework about the place to make sure they are aware of what they’re
getting themselves into. The same care should be given to someone you are
dating – especially if you are looking for a deeper connection or to be HAPPILY
married one day.
