Marriages That Last Are Because The Other Person Is FORGIVING!!! (A FORMER WIFE'S STORY)

THIS STORY IS BASED ON A PERSON I KNOW WHO WAS MARRIED FOR ALMOST A DECADE. WE CHOPPED IT UP AND SHE SPILLED HER EXPERIENCE AS A MARRIED WOMAN. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR THOUGHTS, REACTIONS, QUESTIONS, COMMENTS...I'D LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ONE.

((HER BEGINNING QUOTE THAT STARTED THE WHOLE CONVO!!!!))

"Marriages that last are usually because one or the other partner is very forgiving!!! They chose to suck up and ignore the other person's faults rather then see their family fall apart!!!!"

HER STORY:

I was was married for 8 years and I trusted the guy blindly for a long time until one day I got a phone call. It was a girl that he had lied to and told he was single. She kindly told me she had slept with him. I thanked her, and began packing my shit.

As I was crying and packing, a friend of mine (male) called me and I told him what happened. He convinced me to stop packing and take it step by step.

((This was the convo with my friend)) He told me to calm my ass down and said that I should not ask him (my husband) anything right away. I should let him come home as usual and wait until he was relaxed and then mention the phone call with out starting an argument.

He said that if I was calm, I could focus on his reaction more and that would tell me more of the situation way more then the words that were going to be said.

So I did that.

And of course my husband denied everything, but his body language and defensiveness towards the entire conversation made it obvious that the girl had told me the truth.

You see at that moment, all I could think of was my son. So I gave him options.

1) Me and my son would leave.

2) He could be honest with me and see how we could work on the marriage.

3) Two can play that game (aka an open marriage) - that way he could do him, I could do me, and we would stay together mainly for my son.

He said he would do anything to keep us together, so I gave him the benefit of doubt and stayed. BIG MISTAKE. Once you lose trust, you lose everything. If you're looking for something and begin to dig, eventually you will find something.

But I was young and dumb, so I had to learn.

Even if he was telling the truth, I imagined the worst.

I wasn't myself anymore.

I became a crazy ass woman.

The FBI and CIA had nothing on me.

That was he biggest mistake I made. I refused to get hurt, so all love was lost.

I refused to be the fool, and began to do things that aren't in my character.

When I found proof that the girl who called me wasn't the only female he dealt with, that’s when things got real.  I made the choice for him.  Remember, my friend was the one who convinced me to stay.

His wife cheated on him around the same time. This is where the fun began.

I clearly told my husband that we would be in an open relationship, but he didn't believe me because he knows, that's just not me. I did (however) start going out more often, and we would take turns with that. He had one weekend, I had the next.  We completely stopped going out together as a couple.

The guy who convinced me to stay became my best friend.

We would spend all day and night talking and texting.

I talked to him more then I talked to my own husband.

We were both hurt and angry at our significant others, so we had that common ground.

Any free time we had, we would spend with each other.  We were there for each other mentally, emotionally, and sexually.

I guess he was my comfort and I was his.

Being cheated on fucked my head up really bad to the point that I began to have self-esteem issues - something I never had, but having my best friend around made it so much easier to deal with.

I can't lie, the physical part of cheating was nice - we enjoyed the connection we shared. He picked at my brain as much as I picked at his. The worst way a woman can cheat is emotionally, and I did both.

I ended up leaving my husband without him knowing that I cheated. Unfortunately, that was a mistake as well. He had not given up on us for some odd reason and did everything to get me to come back home.   (Side note: I still kept in touch with my friend).

So fast forward about a year after we had been separated and living apart, he was still trying to win me back.  I had told the other guy (best friend) he needed to go make his marriage work for his kids.  At the end of the day, I couldn’t continue what we were doing.  I know his kids, and love them. I couldn't keep taking part in breaking up their family.  His wife ended up finding out about the situation.

Then I ended up giving in to my husband.  I wanted another baby.  I told my husband that I was going to have another one with or without him.  He was all for it.  So we tried to work our marriage out again.  I was really coming back with the idea that I had forgiven him and would wipe the slate clean.

He took me to Puerto Rico, and I came back expecting! Unfortunately, I lost the baby. Too much stress probably caused it.  We talked about it and decided not to wait long before trying again and a few months after, I was pregnant again.

I was miserable most of my pregnancy. I still felt like I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.  I began to dig for dirt again.  Like I said before, I never stopped talking to my friend, but he didn't know I was pregnant.  He asked me to meet him for lunch one day to catch up.  And I did.

He told me his wife had moved out and that he had physical custody of his kids. He kept glancing down at my stomach though.  When I told him I was pregnant, he congratulated me, but the look on his face, I will never forget.

Things with my husband got worse and worse.

My baby was born on my best friends’ youngest sons birthday, and when I began to feel contractions, I told him before I told my own husband.  After I gave birth, I really couldn't take living in the same house as my husband, but he refused to let me move out at the time.

So I intentionally left my email open one day.  It was open to all the messages I had exchanged with my friend (for years by that point).

 His brother was staying with us and found them.  My husband did not forgive me for what he found, which was me playing the same game he had played on me.  When he first confronted me about it, I denied it.  I told him that it was just emails when I was hurt by the things he had done.

After the fact, I felt awful.  I felt dirty.  I had lost myself.  I was very unhappy with life.  I had not forgiven him, nor had I forgiven myself.

Little by little, I had to find myself again!!!

He let me leave with the idea that we just needed time away from each other to sort out our feelings.

I knew I couldn't go back though, and he was very angry. He ended up moving in with one of the girls he cheated on me with and now, she's the one getting cheated on.  He has not changed at all.  I know he’s cheating on her because of his mom telling me and he’s pretty open about doing it himself.  My kids also come back telling me about the arguments they have.

As for my (at one time) best friend, I still talk to him. His wife came back to him.

He (the best friend) would sometimes send me, "you know I love you messages".  His Instagram would show them going out to dinner and a few minutes after dinner, I would get a message saying he's thinking about me, it’s crazy.

It's not physical though because he's not getting anything from me.

But I go back on my original statement.

They recently had an anniversary. He posted a picture of her and wrote: everyone asks what's the secret for us being together for so long, the secret is no secret.  My wife just happens to be a forgiving wife.

I've seen how my aunts, cousins or friends get cheated on and how they stay to keep their families together.

They just happen to be forgiving people, and if that's what it takes to keep a marriage, I honestly don't want one.

I'm not single because I can't find anybody.  I'm single because I'm not going to settle for just “being forgiving”.  F**k that.  I'll buy my own roses for Valentine’s Day gosh darn it!!! But I refuse to settle for less then I know I deserve.  (END OF HER STORY)

So, what do you think about that????

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What Sexy Women Do Versus Slutty Women... (Reader Opinions)

ALL OF THESE ARE RANDOM ANSWERS FROM THE QUESTION, "WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF THINGS SEXY WOMEN DO VERSUS SLUTTY WOMEN?

CAN YOU TELL WHETHER THE ANSWER WAS FROM A MALE OR A FEMALE?  I GOT ANSWERS FROM BOTH!!!

"A sexy woman makes dinner for her man....naked."
"A slutty woman makes dinner for the team."


"I find a slutty woman dating multiple men."


"A sexy woman will do things that you enjoy, and make them sexy.  Things that are ordinary."
"A sexy woman can make a man cum just by what she says, even though it may not be explicit."
"A sexy woman knows what to wear that presses the right buttons."


"A woman using her sexiness compared to a woman being slutty is the difference between using a sniper rifle and a grenade.  One is precise and intentional, while the other is all over the place and fishing."


"She shows a preview of her assets, but not the whole thing. A slutty woman dresses inappropriately, picks up guys, looks like she's down to f***. Has no girlfriends. A sexy woman seems effortless to be that. She doesn't try to be sexy, she just is."



"It's less about what they do. It's more about self-confidence and security. A woman that's sexy is comfortable with who she is. Not just a physical asset. A slut puts herself out there sexually as a way to feel whole."



"A sexy woman knows how to take control of their man and let it be known that he belongs to her without even saying a word."
"A woman is sexy through her actions...her smile, her smell..."



"Sexy woman does not claim she's "all that!" She exudes it! Slutty women say stuff like, "I'm a Boss Bitch" - No bueno."



"For the most part they do too much too fast, too eager. Obsessive about sex and active or would act upon most of their desires. There are some sluts that are just inactive for a while and when you run into them they might just be on break, but they'll tell you that they're celibate..lol. A lot of the other things have a gray area - just because you do certain freaky things doesn't mean you're a slut or slutty."



"The number one or two thing I think a sexy woman does is show a form of respect...not just for a man, but for herself as well."



"A sexy woman can flirt with a smile and clever talk. A slutty woman flirts with provocative gestures, limited convo, and other slut antics."



"Slutty women post thirst pics on social media."
"A sexy woman doesn't have to convince someone she's sexy.  Everyone sees it.  Think En Vogue versus Pussy Cat Dolls."



"The difference in how they dress, for one. If we went to the club and you're leaving little to the imagination, that's slutty. But on the other hand, you can rock a dress that hugs your figure just right, leaves a lot to the imagination and still be sexy."




It's not what she does. It's who she is trying to please. If she's doing it for someone else, it could be slutty. If it's who she is what and what she really wants to do, it's sexy.




"A sexy woman can carry herself with poise and be humble, but well put together naturally prevailing an interest due to curiosity of her mind, spirit, flow and body language. It gives off the right balance making everything about her sexy from the style of her hair, the clothes she wears, the sound of her voice and how she talks. It can all be so simple.... and SEXY."



"Slutty is forced, fights for the attention, throws herself, and has to work HARD with intent to entice and never stable. Bounces around and thinks it's satisfying and gratifying to sexually do so, but doesn't realize it subtracts from their value. No matter how much they lie to themselves."



"A sexy woman exudes mystery. A slut, well you know the rest."





WHICH ONES DO YOU THINK WERE BY MEN AND WHICH ONES DO YOU THINK WERE BY WOMEN???  ((SNORT LAUGHS))

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Can An Overly Sexy Woman Be Appreciated For Her Mind?

Like for real,

This is a serious question dammit (note the spelling).

There was a very attractive woman I used to work with when I was a Ciroc girl about 5 years ago.  She was upset one night and almost to tears because the guy who she had been talking to for a few months was being pretty stagnant with her about moving forward with their connection.  When she questioned him about it he told her in plain English:

"I have a hard time seeing past the physical with you".

Mind you, they had known each other for quite some time and both had common interests that you would think would draw a deeper connection.  But nah.  He wanted to bang the Ciroc letters right off of her shirt and keep it moving...

Now, I know there's plenty of women who are married and linked up and are the epitome of sex symbol.  But I also know that there are plenty of men who settle for women that don't necessarily make them happy deep down, but they are good eye candy so that's who they snatch up.

Not to say attractive women aren't of value in other areas, but there are plenty of gorgeous women who really don't have much else to offer beyond their orgasmic exterior (see BUTT CHEEKS ANONYMOUS posting from 2012).

So my question to the men is:  If you are visually distracted by a woman in a sexual way, does this take away from other qualities or if she has qualities you appreciate, would it only enhance what you're feeling?

I feel like as a woman, there is a fine line between "sexy" and "slutty".

In my next post, I will have answers for this along with the contrast between sexual and slutty - from different POVs.

STAY TUNED FOR MY SEXY VERSUS SLUTTY POST THAT WILL BE OUT IN A COUPLE OF HOURS!!!!

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But You're Proposing on Friday Right?!

So I'm at the store trying to buy some memory for my Macbook yesterday (I know I'm a dork, I accept that and so should you) and this sales dude came up to me so he could help get what I needed.  I could tell he was one of those guys that knew how to make his work shift go by faster by making small talk with customers.

He told me to forgive him because he was pretty anxious about proposing to his girl on Friday (Valentines Day).  So I was like, "Awwwww!" (Deep down I'm burying my hater reflexes since I dont have a damn ring yet, but seriously).  I always have a soft spot about proposals and started asking him about how long he had been with his girl.  He had already told me about his 2 year old son they have.

He tells me that they've been together for 8 years, but off and on.  Then he voluntairily says that he stepped out on her while she was preggo.  So I asked him if she caught him up in a lie and that's when he told me that he confessed everything to her.  He said he's the type of dude where he wanted everything out in the open - mind you, he said that his girl wouldn't have even known if he had chose to keep everything to himself.

So his whole thing now was to lock everything down because be truly realized now much he loved her after he had a nice opportunity to be a man whore and slide up into a gang of ladybugs (I use the lady part loosely).  He appreciated the genuine connection they had at the end of the day.

He got my memory card and a few other accessories while I told him I had a similar off and on situation, but it didn't result in a marriage.  He told me he could tell that I wouldn't be on the market for too long, which I could appreciate him for acknowledging my fabulousness.

Then as we were completing the sale he goes, "so, what's the rest of your week looking like?"  "I was like, well, I have lots to do in terms of work, but why do you ask?"

(HIS WORDS IN PLAIN ENGLISH:)

"So yeah, you seem pretty cool, I think we should go get some drinks tomorrow and just hang out. You know, nothing like "that",  just hangin'."

So my whole facial expression went from a "I'm so proud to hear about black love" face to a "n****s ain't s***" face of pure disgust.

(a face sort of like this situation right here)

I promise I can't make this stuff up.  Why Father God why?!

So besides the throwing up I held back from doing, are there actual times where men confess unfaithful behavior???  I found that very hard to believe.  Help me out here fellas. Shed some masculine light pretty please.

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Do You Judge A Potential Mate Too Harsh, or Not Hard Enough?

There is a difference between a person who has a checklist of what they want and don't want in a mate versus having a standard.  Meaning, there are some people who really are their own worst enemy and will likely have to experience loneliness before they come off of their high horse and stop being so critical of a potential good catch.  But these people shouldn't be confused with a person who has a standard of what they know they are looking for.


FOR EXAMPLE...There is a difference between someone who is GOING THROUGH SOMETHING and someone who is ABOUT THAT LIFE.

Like a person in-between jobs because of hard times compared to a person who is in-between jobs because they're unreliable and irresponsible.

Like a person who had a brush with the law before, and someone whose New Years Resolution is to update his mug shot the cops have on file.

A person who might have gotten weak at one point and stepped out on their mate and someone who makes a hobby out of entertaining other prospects.  (BEFORE YOU BLACK OUT ON WHAT I JUST SAID....I am not condoning cheating, so don't even go there...I'm only speaking of the difference in mindset.)

Everybody has a threshold of what they will and won't accept, but the problem is when we don't understand when we're either judging a book by it's cover too soon, or when we're not calling a spade a spade. (I love using cliches to prove a point - I'm lying, I just gagged myself.)

It's important we step back and make sure we understand that fact because some of y'all may have let go of a good thing because of overreacting to something that wasn't a habit, but more of an imperfect moment or timeframe.

Make sure you know the difference.

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8 Valentine's Day MUST DOs To Make it The Best Night

 
I'm a hopeless romantic in my mind.  But I'm a Scorpio, so sometimes it comes out a little weird.  Like, instead of hitting up the person, I might go into a complete daze while I'm in the shower and daydream about me kicking his ass in a pool game or better yet Madden because I don't know how to play in real life.  (F*** everybody who ever lied to me and said they would teach me too...BASTARDS).

Anyway I feel like, there should be those days where a man and a woman that are together (or headed in that direction) do those things that re-energize them as a couple like, changing the scenery/having a getaway weekend or trying something new.

But if you don't have the funds or availability, or if you're a wuss about that trying something new situation...you can at least have great SEX.  Or better sex.

For the ladies, I feel like it's always fun to prepare for an evening with your man where you can get your place (or hotel room for the night/weekend) all SEXIFIED (note the word).  For creative minds like myself, you can really show him how much you appreciate him.

For the fellas, I would make this the time you really tap into something your lady is into. 

VALENTINE'S DAY/EVENING/NIGHT CHECKLIST:

So, did I forget anything??? The first person to add to my list in the comments section AND enter their email in the newsletter section (right side of the website) will receive a "Love Kit" in the mail with some freebies from Slumber Parties and toiletries - compliments of Simple Sensitive Skin Experts. 

 (( Muah ))

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Could you date someone you thought was dumb as rocks?

Alright now, damn that.

This one is for men and women - whether you're involved or not, most of us have preferences (some need to aim lower or higher depending on how accurate your self-image is - that probably wasn't nice, but whatever).  

I feel like the preferences are more about appearances for most people but for me personally, I COULD NOT talk to a guy who I'd have to dumb down my whole existence for. 

Some chicas are in bed right now with the dude with the Super Size Yankee Doodle and a Happy Meal conversation.  I'd probably drown myself in sink water having a man like that. I don't know if it's the same for men though.  I feel like I know some men who would rather have a chick that isn't as quick as she could be.  Hopefully I'm wrong though.  Do men even care about this?

On the same tip, I wouldn't want someone who talked down to me because they thought they knew every damn thing.  That condescending tone is definitely one good way to channel my inner Sailor-Scorpion-Samurai-Slow kick to the jaw reflex I got going on behind my Care Bear exterior.  (Damn anyone who doesn't believe I'm a nice person).

I feel the same way about men who act like a doormat.  They don't have any threshold of how they should be treated.  Now I KNOOOOOOWWWWWWW men have this mindset about women.  This is your mental separation of a possible "keeper" versus a "to do list item".  And yes, most of these "doormat men" call themselves "nice guys" when they really need to change it to "delicate dudes that need to eat a man the f**k up sandwich".

I'm just saying, please stop confusing "nice" with missing a backbone.  

It might be worse for me because intellectually, I feel like I need someone who I can talk to and have a decent (doesn't have to be perfect) exchange with about things that are important to us.  That would affect how attracted I am hands down.  Not that I need for us to talk all the time, but he should be able to.  I could see a handsome, physical package of a man all day, but if he talked like Waka Flocka aka 2nd grade spelling bee, I'd disappear right before I rubbed his ribcage.  Giggity.  Just joking.  

Anywho,  I'm really curious about the male side of this equation.  I feel like a lot people have lower standards (if any at all), but is intelligence on the list at all?  And if not, why?

Hmmmmmm????

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Amel Larrieux Cries On Stage About Her Supportive Husband

Most people remember her as the ladybug from the 90s group, Groove Theory - Amel Larrieux.  She came to Washington, DC at Howard Theatre today for a performance that left me feeling like I was on Cloud 99 1/2.

Aside from my publicly admitting that I am a proud stalker of this beautiful singer and the fact that I was blown away by her classically trained, neo-soul mixed with a dash of hip-hop vocals, she had several messages during her show that hit home.

Watch the video:

When I was there assisting with engineering and production, I saw the way Amel and her husband/manager, Laru Larrieux (yes his first and last name are both pronounced the same) interacted with one another.  Laru was protective and very in sync with Amel when it came to what she needed.  He catered to the things she needed before her performance that would enable her to do her very best.  

What I saw wasn't a man being run by his famous wife - I saw a bond.  I saw a genuine connection and unity that strengthens Amel's success.  

How many of us have had a goal, a want, a need, or an interest that was shot down, belittled or ignored by someone who should have not only your back, but your best interest at heart?

Amel said one very true thing:  "You've got to have your TROOPER behind you".  That is REAL. When you have a combination of supportive people behind you and rooting for your success, the entire unit can thrive.  I can say I don't deal with too many people because unfortunately some folks I've entertained in the past were deadly to my progression.  You can't expect to stay motivated when you have naysayers and skeptics in your ear on a regular basis.  I don't care how much a person believes they are immune to it.  

NOBODY SHOULD HAVE TO DEAL WITH A SPOUSE, SIGNIFICANT OTHER, FRIEND, OR RELATIVE WHO WILL TRY TO CRUSH YOUR AMBITION OR YOUR SPIRIT.  IT'S ONE THING TO TELL YOU THINGS YOU NEED TO HEAR, BUT NOT IN A WAY THAT KILLS YOUR PASSION OR MAKES YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR HAVING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

That's why it's important to choose that special someone wisely.  Amel is truly blessed.

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Leave Olivia Pope ALONE!!!! ((In Honor of Ms. Chris Crocker))

Seriously though.  Black dudes, you slay me with these side chick memes about Olivia Pope (some of you just want a laugh or 5, I'm with that) but the rest of you bastards are poking at this chick being dead ass serious like you have a valid point.

FACT:   THIS IS A FICTITIOUS CHARACTER PLAYING A FICTITIOUS ROLE ON A FICTITIOUS SHOW!!!!

I'm only writing this rant because it's Thursday and I got my Gladiator goggles on for Scandal to come on tonight but more than that, this is a good example of the divisive mindsets that black folks have against one another.

When I was a kid in the 90s, shows like Melrose Place, Knots Landing, Dallas, etc. were on and they were HIT SHOWS just like Scandal - except for one thing.  The lead character was not a black woman.  It was also not a black woman being judged for her script.

All those old shows had skanks sleeping around with everyone and when I say skanks, I mean the MEN TOO.  Everybody had been with everyone -- sons were uncles to their cousins and some more shit.  Nobody was calling Heather Locklear on Melrose Place a "side anything".  She was called a "steamy actress who stops at nothing to get what she wants".

So why can't we be just as non-judgmental to Ms. Kerry Washington who has come quite a long way from her role in "Save the Last Dance"?  Hmmm?

Like I said, I'm all for a good laugh and an opportunity to poke at some funny stuff, but for the wives/girlfriends who feel "some kinda way" about her being banged by the married President, I just hope you exhibit that same discrimination towards any other chick in any other show or movie that contains all those controversial elements that have made movies what they are since the beginning of time.

Don't get me wrong, if you don't like Scandal, that's your choice as a citizen of the world. But things should be measured fairly.  Scandal is a damn good show with a great cast of people - the main character happening to be a Black woman who should be allowed to do her thing without being criticized for her script.

Some of y'all watch horror movies and love them.  Guess that means you worship the Devil now.  C'mon son.

Let entertainment be what it used to be before REALITY TV erased the line between real and fake.

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So Do You Choose the Friend Zone, or Settle?

It's crazy to me how I'll see all these memes talking about how women "friend zone" "Mr. Right", but then you'll see the same people talk about how women shouldn't settle for anything less than the best when it comes to who you put your time and energy into.

Now, me being a black woman and all, I already know how our input gets received on this topic and it's very unfair to say the least.

There are many women who accept bullshit from an awful guy just because the sex is good, or she can't get over him, or for her own weaknesses that keep her stagnate.

I was that girl I won't lie, but much of the problem with this whole argument is the fact that people get the VILLAIN TITLE so quickly from speculators, but don't know the whole story - then these people are labeled "bad guy" or "basic chick".  For example, women who vent to their friends about their relationship issues, and now the friend hates her boyfriend and continues to hate him long after the couple has humped and made up.  The friend doesn't know both sides of the story, so she assumes her friend is settling for a jerk.  And more often than not, it's usually these assumptions that are the story more than a female who won't stop dating "Pookie's" ass.  I'm not speaking about a woman who is accepting abuse. But even that woman needs counseling, not judgment and ridicule for her lack of understanding or outlet.

Men constantly judge women for remaining friends with a guy who she only sees in a platonic light, but what if she gave him a chance only to feel a void within her relationship or marriage?  What happens if she comes across someone she has more COMPATIBILITY with?  She can't win either way with people because honestly the right thing should have begun with the woman being true to herself and her genuine feelings.

PEOPLE HAVE PREFERENCES.  EVERYONE.  MEN AND WOMEN OF ALL RACES. HOWEVER, BLACK WOMEN ARE THE MAIN ONES WHO ARE SCRUTINIZED WHEN THEY EXPRESS THEIRS.  HOW UNFORTUNATE.

You can't fake an attraction.  You can cope with a few shots of Ciroc or a joint if that's your thing, but ultimately, something about what you don't feel will begin to tell on itself.

FACT:  BLACK WOMEN WHO SELECT ASSHOLES TO BE WITH ARE NOT THE CAUSE OF 70% OF BLACK MOTHERS BEING UNWED.  THIS IS NOT THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM.  THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE OVERALL MINDSET IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY IS FUCKED AND HAS BEEN FOR CENTURIES.  AND ONE OF THE MINDSETS HAVE TO DO WITH MEN AND WOMEN TURNING AGAINST ONE ANOTHER.

I didn't even mean to get all heavy on em' with those actual market research statistics, but I get sick of people not looking at the entire picture and understanding where many problems stem from.  Black women have so many disadvantages in society when it comes to how we are viewed, but the saddest part is the judgment we get from our own kind. ESPECIALLY BLACK MEN!  A few Shenay-nay's out there and now all black women have to kill themselves to look like a regular decent person who is worthy of a fair selection of a significant other.

CONFIDENCE is usually what a woman craves in a man.  Not his womanizing ability or if he's a dope chauvinist.   A woman will tend to gravitate more towards a man that she sees is desired but wait, don't men do that too???  Could have sworn they did (shrugs).  It's just like a popular product, or restaurant, or whatever.  There's usually something appealing about that thing that may give it more attention or fans.

But more than any of these shallow things, it's about a real CONNECTION.  And connections are important.  What's the chemistry like?  Is it there or is it being forced? How could you consider being with a person you don't naturally desire?  Especially if they haven't grown on you yet?  And yes, some people could grow on you, but what if they don't? Does a "nice guy" automatically equal "great catch" or make the woman obligated to dig further?  And what the hell is a nice guy anyway?  Some guys only call themselves nice because they're too scared to act the way a more confident man would.  Some shy ass dudes want to do the same thing they would see an "asshole" do, but they're too much of a punk to execute.

That's why the whole ridicule of the nice guy epidemic is bullshit to me.  There's no reason to complain about a woman who can't see a decent guy for how great he is, it just means she's not the one for you.  Women that complain about no decent men get told this everyday.  It's the same shit.  So shut the hell up already LOL...







I will continue to preach this because humans are what they are and like what they like.

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