DOODLEBUG DIARIES®

WTF 2 Chainz?! (I went in, ya'll have to forgive me)

I was following the story of a girl who is allegedly suing rapper 2Chainz for releasing a YouTube video of her backstage called, #IsThisYourTHOT? For people who aren't familiar with the term "THOT" (I know I lost brain cells when I initially heard this term), it means That Hoe Over There.

So apparently the story is that the girl (named Tina) snuck backstage and lied to security saying that she had been invited by Cap1 (2Chainz' friend) that she allegedly met on Instagram.

The footage shows her backstage sitting and was called over by 2Chainz to not only find out who sent for her, but to check her body out as if that would determine her likelihood of remaining back there.

WATCH THE VIDEO:

So, okay...after this video was made and was made viral via YouTube and Twitter, she decided to fight back for public humiliation. Now, she does seem to be excited about the possibility of showing up on a blog and also shouted out her Instagram name, but clearly you can see in the video before being sent away that she didn't realize she was the butt of everyone's joke.

A second Instagram was created after all of this that Tina claims was phony because if that new instagram account was real, it definitely painted the picture of a girl who wanted publicity however she could get it.

Her original Instagram does show her in a light where she seems to be on possible groupie status, but her behavior in the video that ultimately caused this whole situation doesn't show me anything other than a girl wanting to be in the mix.

((LONG DEEP SIGH BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GIVE MY 85 CENTS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT AGREE WITH))

First of all damn it, I saw a lot of comments about this topic where many women were saying that girls like her are the reason why men write such degrading lyrics about females. ((Record scratch sound)) The FU__ did you just say?!?!

Let's look at the facts: She was called over by 2Chainz and questioned about who sent for her. She complied with his request for her to turn around so they could see her body - she was CLEARLY CONFUSED AND OUTNUMBERED. Anyone who says this chick was acting like a groupie in that video is lying because most groupies have no shame about going after someone in their radar. This chick (although probably no saint whatsoever) looked like a FAN that was happy to be backstage like anyone else would.

Who the hell wouldn't be happy to get backstage to see an artist they like? This is my main problem though.

BLACK PEOPLE ARE THE ONLY MOFOS IN THE WORLD OF LIFE AND HUMANITY (YES I'M BEING DRAMATIC) THAT DO SHIT LIKE THIS TO ONE ANOTHER!!!

You catch rock stars and they all have groupies, but they damn sure don't make their disrespect of another person as a human being FRONT AND CENTER of their whole act. THEN to add insult to injury, you have OTHER WOMEN backing this ignorant shit up! How many chicks do you see stripping and bouncing their asses everyday with these monster looking creatures and you're more appauled at the FAN who probably DID get a message from one of his entourage members to come thru at the concert?! Really???

What if she was your mom or sister? Would it still be funny then? Would she still be a hoe then? It's all fun and games until it becomes a person you know or better yet, YOU. Nothing in that video showed me a chick that voluntarily wanted to be made an ass out of. Some broad sitting down laughing in the back at this girl looking like Izma from The Emperor's New Groove.

I'm tired of black people being so divisive towards one another and pointing fingers when EVERYONE should be held accountable for their actions. I'm not saying some women don't put themselves in a position to be talked about, but this girl right here was bullied, point blank and 2Chainz should be ashamed of himself. He has a daughter. What if someone did that to her and she might have just been going backstage to possibly get in the "mix"?

How many people take pics with celebs and break their damn necks to post the shit on social media? Don't worry, I'll wait. She probably wanted pics, wanted connections for whatever but she represents MILLIONS OF OTHER PEOPLE (MALES AND FEMALES) that would have done the same damn thing by being back there to see what would happen.

I had to go in because I don't think most Black folks understand how ignorant stuff like this is and how WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMIES!!!! What did Kevin Hart say on "Laugh At My Pain" about him and his kids...(might have been his "Seriously Funny" show) but he said, "We looked bad as a UNIT".

And that's US. We look AWFUL as a unit because we truly hate each other. Whether it was from early days of growing up rough, being catty towards other women, insecure that someone else will outshine, or whatever the situation, WE ARE FULFILLING THE WILLIE LYNCH THEORY PERFECTLY. 2Chainz, you are like 40 you wrinkled bastard, this girl is damn near young enough to be your child or at least your niece.

Yes, I believe I'm done now. Now I need some more Starbucks and a damn hug.

Which one would you take over the other?

For some people, sex is too important on the list of needs in a relationship to not make it a priority for someone to fulfill. For others, they don't rely on sex as a basis for fulfilling their happiness in a mate. So, which one are you??

I feel like this could easily be a Catch 22 because on one hand, it IS POSSIBLE to improve your sex life with someone by becoming more in sync with them, but I do believe that not everyone has sexual chemistry. Some people could melt your underroos away while another person might cause you to throw up in your mouth a little bit. But what happens when you get older and because of physical limitations, sex may not be as front and center?

One thing that I believe society has done is made us focus MOSTLY ON SEX and INSTANT GRATIFICATION (I'm passionate about this, thus the excessive use of CAPS). The problem (however) is that sex is temporary, much like a buzz or a high. It doesn't last and a lot of people get into permanent situations because of temporary actions.

I believe it's necessary to understand there's balance in most things. You should commit to a mate that excites you, someone who you are genuinely drawn to, but if the physical side of your life is covering up the fact that you wanna bust a can of pineapples upside your other half's forehead...you should already know it's time to fix that. Whether you make the effort to come to an understanding of each others' needs or part ways, life is way too short to be miserable for the sake of having someone by your side.

Porsha of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" was interviewed by Atlanta's V-103 about her
disappointment with Wendy Williams and her comments on Porsha's recent divorce.

“You know what? It’s just enough. It’s enough of women of power, women of color, not supporting each other. Like, every time I see her say something about me, I’m disappointed in her. She’s calling me ‘less than smart’; she’s less than a woman. You shouldn’t do that,” Porsha said. “I’ve been through a very traumatic situation that hurt me. All I’m trying to do is stand and be strong and possibly inspire somebody else, and all she does is knock me down. But this is the same woman who said that I should’ve had a baby by my ex to get cash. Really? Never. Never stoop that low. So for me, I have no thoughts on Wendy, at all.”

Wendy never builds people up in a positive way, definitely not black women.And for me, I feel like it’s low and it’s just sad,” she said. “But…she only fools the people in her audience. If you go to her Instagram and Twitter, it’s a completely different opinion. So for me I feel like her audience is just like clap-clap-clap, say ‘yeah’, say ‘yeah, stupid’, whatever.

I feel like with Wendy, it's never personal with her. She's always going to catch hell because of
her format of dishing gossip, but a story is a story to her.
She is going to gossip about Madonna just like she gossiped about Whitney. Now I will say in the reality world arena, she doesn't seem to have much respect (overall) for certain people (flashback to her interview with Draya).

It comes with the business. If your purpose for stardom came from being married to a high profile man, then all details (good or bad) will be front and center for discussion. That's the contract she signed, and the nature of the entertainment beast.

I was at the Essence Fest last year and stayed in the Old Historic French Quarter section of N'aaaalins. So the first day I was there, I completely passed out in my room but the next day, I was rejuvenated and decided to stroll the city some before the Essence activities began.

I went into Walgreens to buy some makeup and see all the employees in there blushing and holding their phones. So I say to myself, well damn...I know I'm wearing one of my best fragrances (Euphoria by Calvin Klein at the time) but why the star struck faces?!

Then I turn around to see Ms. Chardonnay Pitts RIGHT BEHIND ME picking out some eyeshadow. And you're damn skippy I was star struck. Damn all of you bastards who try to play it cool all the time, I grew up listening to this chick. 1994 on that ass...you DAMN RIGHT I had a moment.

This story would have held up better in court if I actually had the pic we took, but I can't find it! Anywhoo, our exchange was brief, but there were TWO THINGS I noticed off the break when I was in there. One being that she is beautiful in person. Not that I thought she wasn't, but sometimes the in-person effect is a far cry from the images we see. The second thing I noticed was this beautiful species of man candy she had with her, which turned out to be her other half.

And now they've allegedly split (Ray J made comments during an interview almost confirming Brandy being back on the market).

I have no punch line or moral to the story about this. I just know he was fine as hell. And yes, feel free to judge my moment of ignorance, I welcome it.

Columbus Short (Harrison on Scandal aka 1/5 of the Gladiators) has been getting in trouble for apparently whooping everybody's ass.

Ladies, I'm just as devastated as you are.

It seems that Mr. Short has been charged with spousal battery for fighting his wife in front of their 2 and 10 year old children. He was also charged with child abuse because of the potential emotional trauma he may have inflicted.

THEN if that wasn't enough...look at what the heck he did to this one guy in a bar fight:

THENNNN...(I'm seriously not done) in 2010 he was prosecuted for beating down some dude at an LA basketball court.

Can we say Anger Freaking Management is in order?! Sheesh Harrison.

How in the hell are you whooping everybody's ass like this anyway? Aren't you like 2 feet 3 inches or something? Ol' angry Lollipop Guild ass. And yes, I'm going in on you for touching your wife. Shame on you! I would have given you the benefit of the doubt by saying she may have provoked you to step out of your zone or taken a stance like a man, but with your track record, you need Iyanla and a good tranquilizer to calm that ass down.

Doesn't he seem so chill on Scandal?! Except when he was tapping the client's (Candice) cheeks on the show.

I just wonder if any of this will affect his work. Damn, I'm going to look at him so different now. Sadly enough, his sex appeal for the ladybugs probably increased with this news. I can't stand y'all. LOL

Can I just say that I get really irritated when I see women trying to be the "cool one" to guys? They irk a special place in my soul because I feel like some of them do and say so much to earn "cool points" with men.

I remember my ex telling me about how a girl he dated for a short period of time showed him how to block people from his Facebook account. She told him, "You'll thank me later", like she was being a true and blue ally on the "I'm cooler than your ex" side. B*tch...I'll slap you. The only thing she was doing was subliminally spitting game hoping he would eventually see her value and the fact that she was "cooler" than the norm.

Honestly, I sound pissed about it...I'm not. I'm more intrigued that I still hear women my age (30 somethings) say things like, "I have only male friends" and "guys are so much easier to hang with than women", and I'm like, "duuuuuhhhhhh dummy!" His sausage needs a good bun to enter and what better person than a dumb ass who believes she's the golden child of understanding men?! If you don't sit your dollar 99 ass down before I provide a discount with the sole of my shoe.

Seriously damn it. Women need to stop acting like they have the answers to what men want/need all the time. All men (people) are different so you can't say that you have a lock down on the universal code when many men do different things for different reasons. I'm not saying those of you who actually have a meaningful bond with a male are full of it, but when a woman begins bragging about it, I immediately think of this:

There are some women who will argue to the death that females are so emotional, catty, petty and blah-blah-blah when in reality, men can be the same way. In reality, some of those women are the same ones who would mess around with your dude and because she's not emotionally attached or affected by what she's doing, will blame her sneakiness on women who are just "insecure". I personally know women like this. It was cool to say at 22 when I didn't know sh*t that I "understand dudes". Now, it's just retarded. I'm a woman, and I have people around me of whatever sex, race, background that I TRUST and know gives a damn about me. Very simple.

Melyssa Ford, a well-known video vixen that has gone from being the eye candy of rappers into the real estate arena visited Sway on the Shade 45 show to talk about her life as a video vixen and what she went through.

Some quotes from Ms. Ford - (and my thought responses in PURPLE)

"These amateurs out here, who are doing too much for too little, cheapen the business."
I definitely agree with this. I believe that Melyssa Ford chose to be an urban model at a transitional point where the value of the video vixen was on a steady decline. Much like an actual musical artist because anyone with a computer, a microphone and recording software can call themselves a singer, rapper, etc. At one point, the urban model WAS ACTUALLY AN URBAN MODEL that was treated with some form of respect, but then when the market became saturated, it lost value big time. Some models became models to be beautiful and be the object of desire where other women agreed to sign the whore contract.

"I wasn’t afraid to tell the artist “Could you be respectful? Could you keep your hands above my waist and below my breasts?” Cause I’ll slap the dog s–t out of you. Please don’t.” They were always very respectful."
I feel like at the time where Melyssa Ford was at the height of her identity as an urban model (circa late 90s to the early 2000s, lyrics in your most popular songs were not speaking of women as hoes/bitches on a regular basis. It was beginning to transition into that with the rise of dirty south music (I know that music from the northeast/west could contain just as many degrading lyrics about women, but it wasn't as mainstream until the south took over). With that being said, I can see her feeling justified in her behavior and drawing a line of professionalism (in her own mind).

"Chicks started to go outside in their backyard wearing a bikini with a polaroid camera and started calling themselves models. I’m like no, that does not a model. It was really, really frustrating. It goes the same thing with anybody who devotes a certain portion of their life and blood, sweat, and tears to a craft. It’s just disrespectful. I’m not calling video modeling a craft, people, before you try and get me for that s–t, that’s not what I’m trying to say. I’m more talking about modeling in that respect."
I can understand how she may have had actual training as a model and look at someone who never took a class a day in their life or signed with an actual agency like, "really"? I do believe that the bad apples of hip hop in terms of culture and image have spoiled the mainstream perception of the genre. Of course, you have artists who degrade women, but not all rappers were doing that. The ones who were became front and center (however) and brought forth a population of "bad bitches" who sent a strong message of "only good enough to f*ck."

"I didn’t reinvent the wheel. There’s so many women who came before me. Pinup girls of the 1950s…it’s not like I was walking around butt a– naked. I was selling sensuality. I was selling a product. There was no difference between me and Carmen Electra or Pamela Anderson. I was doing the same thing that they were. I just took my image, I slapped it on product, I branded myself. I just paid really close attention to the whole supply and demand. Business 101. That was it. I don’t know. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I was working."
Honestly, I do believe Melyssa Ford actually was trying to be a professional model working for the Urban Arena. The problem is that music really does imitate life and you can't separate the disrespectful image people will have if you're next to someone who looks the same but standards are different. You're already guilty by association. Guilty meaning, asking for disrespect.

"I don’t really have any regrets because I didn’t do anything to be regretful for. I was literally known as the ‘Queen of No’ on video sets. Anybody could tell you that. Interview Hype Williams, Little X, anybody that was on production. They knew Melyssa wasn’t down for a lot of stuff. Wardrobe choices. Even certain songs for music videos I wouldn’t do because I didn’t agree with the lyrical content. I was like, ‘ I can’t represent this.’ My regret is that other women did not conduct themselves in the best possible ways and that within itself is where the stigma [of video girls] kind of [got] out of control. And unfortunately for me, it became my cross to bear because I was the most quote-unquote prolific."
Exactly. I have yet to hear any real rumors of Melyssa Ford being anyone's whore specifically. I just think if she wanted more success as a model she should have stayed away from the Urban arena. Because unfortunately, black folks don't know how to act. There are too many people (male and female) who really don't respect themselves and stand for a bunch of BS that reflects the BS they probably grew up seeing through parents or relatives. I'll stop being a psychologist now, but I think Melyssa is one that (although had a very prominent figure - enhanced or not) just wanted to be a model and normal person at the same time. Not a "bad bitch", not someone's "ho", not a "body count", but just a model.

A lot of women short change themselves by being next to some of the most hideous, Cyclops looking, disrespectful shitty faced bastards I've ever seen in my life. And that reason only makes me co-sign with Melyssa mentioning the value depreciation of the model.

BUT....she still chose the poison of selling her looks, and I really believe in her mind she thought she was valuable but stepping into the world of the "video-vixen" is a lose-lose situation if integrity is something you stand for. How much integrity can you really have when you're no more valuable than being entered, exited, then talked about in a f*cked up way afterwards?

So for all the 30's and 30-somethings... Back in the mid-90's...when Marques Houston and the rest of his Immature crew rocked a better "Just for Me" perm than ANY OF US LADIES, he had back-up singers and dancers (yessir). So before Jhene Aiko stepped into the music arena, HER SISTER JAMILA (aka Japollonia) was on the move in a group called Gyrl trying her hand at potential stardom. She rocked these long braids with the beanie hats (my flashback mode is in full effect). But ANYHOO...she has come out with the first single off of her soon-to-be released album with Island Def Jam called "Smoke, Drink, Break-Up". (check it out BELOW)

At first I felt like it was really dramatic at the beginning, and I wasn't sure I was really feeling the song - until I began connecting to the lyrics and what she was addressing.

Who has poured a drink or sparked something because they were trying to calm down, chill out - of course, certain people are going to try and maintain their little levels of decorum and be like, "oh, not me, I don't do stuff like that." And i'll say..."yeaaaaaaaahhhh OK."

This is why so many people (especially older folks 35+) have chronic substance abuse issues now. It's easier to numb yourself rather than having a nervous breakdown or fight over things time and time again. There's an attachment there, but the drink, the smoke, sometimes other substances allow people to "cope" (aka mask the bad feeling).

I'm not even here to preach about substance abuse though. My M.O. has more to do with how we don't connect properly.

Somebody's selfish, doesn't want to listen, wants to be right, they're bored, maybe a liar, have an inner Quagmire inside of them, won't prioritize responsibilities (this is a huge one for the absent parents), etc etc etc.

My only thing with this is: young people problems turn into old people problems. The 20-somethings who deal with problems by burying them will be 30-somethings within a flash of a pan doing the same crap without some reflection, holding themselves accountable, and being real with yourself. That saying "young fools turn into old fools" is SO REAL. I've seen them first hand with a ton of stories, regrets, and advice.

As for Mila J (Jamila), I wish her the best. Hopefully the comparisons to Aaliyah and Ciara won't annoy her too much - I feel like a 90's influenced artist will always display some characteristics personally but whatever, what do I know... (LOL)

(Throwback 90's pic of Mila J)

(Rumors of Alicia Keys, wife of Swizz Beatz and Mashonda, Ex-wife of Swizz hanging out)

I could dammit. I mean, why not?

Honestly, I can speak first hand by saying that when you truly let the past be the past, it's okay to make amends with your ex and whomever is new in their life. I honestly embrace the idea of trucing with your exes' other half because if there are children involved, to create issues only affects them in the long run.

As long as everyone shows respect for one another, I don't see any problem with it. The only time there is usually a problem is when someone is not over the other person completely.

As a woman, I know who I am and my value. As long as I'm aware of this, what didn't work out in my previous relationship will not dictate my actions towards someone that had nothing to do with it.

Now to be 100...F*CK ALL THAT HANGING OUT CRAP. I was joking. Kiss my damn ass. Hahahahaha. Good for you Alicia and Mashonda. I'm sure Swizz is dreaming of you two kissing and making up with him in the middle for a threesome sandwich. I kid, I kid. LOL

Skip to 5:15 in the video ---

Now, I'm certainly not trying to make something out of nothing, but damn it man. Wendy Williams asks Future about Ciara and why he chose to marry her since so many people in the present generation don't really believe in marriage as much anymore.

I feel like his answer was almost saying, well...I'd rather not sleep with all these slut buckets out here so let me just tie myself down to focus better on the career. I just wanted to hear him saying something about what he actually FELT for her.

Am I being too sensitive about this? I'm being too much of a chick right now huh?

My hopeless romantic side definitely needs some adjusting to some of the things I see nowadays that's for damn sure. (LOL)

Keyshia Cole got pretty pissed off during an interview on V-103 with Ryan Cameron's assistant Wanda Smith after she asked the question, "do you feel you were wifey material" in relation to the subject matter with her recent split with future ex-husband, Daniel "Boobie" Gibson.

“Do you feel like you were wifey material?” Wanda questioned.

“You know what? Y’all really f**kin’ with my sh** right now,” Keyshia responded. “I got some other sh** going on. What y’all wanna talk about? Tell me now.”

“You were so busy, you had your career popping off and you were doing your thing,” Wanda explained. “Then you had to phase out and start doing the wifey things, the cooking, taking care of the kids. Were you really ready for that or were you still trying to do your music thing?” (Wanda)

Regardless of how Ms. Cole's reputation is with being a hot head, I totally understand why she jumped on the defense. The fact that she tried to maintain a level of chill during the interview and not completely fly off the handle is admirable in itself. To have to deal with infidelity leading to the split of someone you care for - then dealing with the media shaping stories, motives, personalities, etc. for viewership is enough to take someone out of their zone.

But I present the question:

What is "wife material"? I purposely took off the "Y" because that term in itself irks the Doodle out of my Bug (I'm wack, I know).

I feel like there are so many variations and examples of married women these days. I would say it depends on the man and his personal wants, but what qualities exude "wife" to most men?

Here are some qualities I jacked from my Manly Bugs...

Shares same beliefs

Attractive

Makes you a better man

Trustworthy

Ambitious

Selfless

Smart

Unconditionally loves you

Responsible

Gets along with your family

Gentleman, how does that list look? And do these type of women usually "win" in the long run???

Well, it isn't exactly Nicki....

It's her role as Lydia starring as Cameron Diaz's assistant in the new movie, "The Other Woman" that will open in theaters on April 25th.

Diaz's character, Carly finds out that the guy she's really into happens to be married and here's the clip of their discussion about it:

MOVIE PREVIEW TRAILER FOR "THE OTHER WOMAN"

Andddd...although the movie isn't based around Cameron's acceptance of being the "other woman", I do believe there are many women who have come to accept and play a Tug of War game with a man in their radar that happens to be taken.

I personally know women who don't give a sh*t and the only thing that comes to mind is, are some of us really that hard up for attention and love that we will either take it how we can get it or we just don't care about dealing with a man who will give us 100% of their love, affection, attention, etc.?

Many women who are married will just label them as sluts, whores, etc. - which I probably would too if I had to deal with one invading my homefront, but with the imbalance of males to females (benefiting the guys), has this confirmed that married men will take advantage of the possibilities?

The only women I can empathize with are the ones who were blindsided and fell in love with a married liar. If a man lies about his relationship status and in the process develops a relationship with a woman, that woman is building an attachment on false pretenses. Then when she finds out what's going on, to say she should walk away is easier said than done. People will always tell others what they should do anyway until they are put in the same situation and that's when it gets real.

It's rough in these streets I tell ya.

How long is a sufficient time to bounce back from a failed relationship? Can healthy relationships really happen while a person is in the rebound phase?

This question came up from the whole Evelyn Lozada new baby/new fiancee' news. The former basketball, then football, and now baseball "wife" just gave birth to a baby boy with LA Dodgers baseball star Carl Crawford and her older daughter Shaniece by her side.

Back when she was six months preggo, there was speculation of her relationship with Crawford when a Twitter conversation between Ochocinco and a fan surfaced where the fan said he saw Evelyn with Crawford at his job.

The allegations of their relationship were denied until the last trimester of her pregnancy. Now with the birth of their new son, I was curious of whether the old saying of "the quickest way to get over a man is to get under a new one" is a truthful rule of thumb. It's usually a Hollywood norm to see people bounce from relationships, but given the recent controversy of Evelyn and Chad's violent episodes, I ask again is it okay to move on with someone else so soon after a split, let alone conceive a child?

I feel like Evelyn is in marriage/family mode and realizes her biological clock is ticking. She might have honestly wanted to hurry up and take advantage of the eggs that are still functioning.

Either way, she's a gorgeous MILF. Wishing her all the best.

At this point, everyone knows about Robin Thicke and his public pleas to wife, Paula Patton about taking him back after they separated. Robin Thicke has been under fire for many public displays where he touched other women inappropriately and embarrassing his wife in the process.

Many have debated whether this was a publicity stunt, but I would imagine that it's hard enough to think straight when something like being betrayed shakes you up emotionally. Then having to deal with millions of spectators and their opinions about what you should/shouldn't do.

The level of thick skin that needs to exist for relationships in the public eye is REAL, and while there are some couples who are rumored to be in open relationships, there are just as many duos who speak on traditional values and their exclusivity.

I wish them the best and hope that somehow they can find their way back into a trusting bond. They have so much history along with a beautiful child and it would be a shame for it to be thrown away because he was being selfish and caught up within his career.

I was involved in a discussion where the men and women were debating an online article that encouraged women to start asking guys out on dates more because there are tons of men who are on the quieter side who may be interested, but not as confident to make the first step.

So the whole debate thread starts jumping (Shoutout to Sonya Lowry and her show World Next Door TV for inspiring this post), and a gentleman brings up the topic of how men are expected to do so much in the courtship phase when it comes to initiation, as well as money. This really bothered me because as a woman, I know some BROKE ASSES that have no problem keeping a woman's interest because there's something about that guy that draws them in. This isn't to say that a man shouldn't be stable (or working towards stability), but I believe that a lot of men think the wrong way when it comes to this expectation.

OF COURSE there will be women who are wallet shopping. Just like there are men who are only shopping for the juiciest Kit Kat, or the brag-worthy arm piece.

BUT THIS IS A SITUATION THAT SHOULD HAVE BALANCE. Nobody should have to feel like they're breaking the bank to get to know someone and there are plenty of women who you can entertain by doing wallet-friendly things.

FOR EXAMPLE...

Why the heck can't we have a picnic?! Depending on where you live, you might be able to pull this off year-round, but even if weather is an issue, we could still go somewhere with nice scenery and enjoy our surroundings. A picnic requires minimal funding if you set it up ahead of time. No, you are not soft for setting up a picnic, you are soft for trying to purchase lobster tails knowing your Rush Card's only good for some hot dogs and a Big Gulp from 7-11 .

STARBUCKS For the WIN!!! You can kiss my round rump cushion for saying I'm biased about this one. For the people who know me, they already know this move is more strategic to spark my interest than many other fancier things. Coffee is a minimal cost situation and a safe haven for great conversation and possibly the beginning of a great connection.

Go to a museum. Why not? First of all, it might give you something to talk about - whether you are knowledgeable about certain types of art or if you just have eyes and a possible opinion about what you're looking at - it's an opportunity to connect with someone who will probably appreciate your creative decision to go somewhere that isn't so cliche' on the first date.

Go to a festival. There are ALWAYS things happening depending on the time of year. All you have to do is check out a few websites (Google is your FRIEND) and if you're not too lazy, take her there! They are usually free events that have a number of things you can do - including sparking conversation to CONNECT!

Check out the Open Mic/Poetry scene in your area. This is an awesome way to open the forum for convo or discussion about topics you both may be interested in. The cover charge is almost always minimal or non-existent. If you appreciate this craft, why not share it with a potential mate?

Invite her to something that you already do! This might be a great way to open her up to your world.

The key is to be real with yourself and real with her. Don't go wine tasting if you don't give a damn about different wines. Don't take her salsa dancing if you really don't want to do that. That's not to say don't be open-minded, but there is compromise in all of this!

I find that there are many men who feel uneasy about putting out money in pursuit of a woman, but don't tap into the notion of actually spending the quality time with her and making that the first priority. Trust me, there are plenty of moneybags walking around where swiping the plastic is not an issue, but they still can't get continuous action. Why you ask?! Do I really have to go there again? Yeah I do. BECAUSE THEY SUCK - THEIR CONVO IS DRY, THEY ARE MORE WORRIED ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF THE DATE THAN ENJOYING THE ACTUAL DATE AND WOMEN CAN SENSE THIS CRAP, THEY AREN'T CONFIDENT, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

The point is, you don't have to be a baller to connect with a woman. At ALL. It starts and ends with YOU. Don't get all salty about trying to put out money when you could have just been real from the beginning and stayed within your means. If she judges you for that then well, it's on you if you want to continue to pursue a woman like that.

I do believe there's somebody for everybody.

BUT FELLAS! Talk to me. Do you find that women are typically expecting you to wine and dine her? What's your take on this?

JUST A QUICK COLLAGE OF THE BABY LOVE GOING ON IN THE CELEB WORLD. I'M NOT SURE ABOUT YAYA PULLING THE TIG' OL BITTIES OUT FOR INSTAGRAM BUT HEY, THEY'RE HERS RIGHT?!

CIARA IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE AS A PREGGO LADYBUG...

NORTH IS A BEAUTIFUL COLLAGE OF GOOD GENES...

AND I HOPE I LOOK THAT DAMN GOOD AT EVELYN'S AGE WHILE CARRYING A KID...

IN THE FAMILY WAY!!!! by Slidely Slideshow

Some people get more descriptive than others when it comes to venting or describing the things they go through in their private relationships. Of course, it's "politically correct" to say that you keep your private business private, but I believe that most people (MEN and WOMEN) have confidantes that could blackmail in the worst way because they have been told information that others just don't know.

So the question was presented on Facebook about whether you should tell your buddies about your significant other's sex game - because wouldn't knowledge of this make the person want to find out about them first hand?

My answer is probably so. As much as people try to present themselves as morally sound on these social networks, I just believe there are more people who would "go there" compared to people who would not. It's a sad thing to say because you would think that people would place more value on their meaningful relationships but in 2014, that's an endangered species in the urban community that is growing worse by the day.

I asked a male friend of mine would he tell any of his homeboys about his sex life with HIS WOMAN (not a woman he just had sex with) and he said he keeps his personal dealings to himself. THEN he brought up a friend who had passed away back in 2006, saying that HE would have been the only person that may have been told something intimate between himself and a woman he was with because they were like brothers.

And the reality is...people have different levels of character for various things. I would imagine some friends would just take that info and it would stay JUST THAT while other "friends" would have a host of feelings and inspiration behind that knowledge. I definitely had a "close friend" who I'm almost 95% sure was peeping my dude at the time and the vibe she gave off had me seconds off of her remedial cranium. She was remedial because she didn't realize how obvious her behavior was and the blow to her head would have graduated her from remedial to the vegetable section at the grocery store.

Am I violent? I don't think so.

A lot of you don't understand each other. And more importantly, you don't understand that everyone has a LOVE LANGUAGE that is a part of their personality. I believe that lots of people bump heads and have a hard time in their relationships when they're not tuned into this information about who they're with.

So, what's a LOVE LANGUAGE?

Some of you might know already and I've talked about this before, but that's the beautiful thing about having your own blog. You can say whatever the f---, sh--, hell, damn you want!!! And say it over and over again, chop and screw that bish and scramble it up with a side of turkey bacon because red meat is too fattening. (Smells so good tho...damn I'm hungry.)

Anywhoo...

There are FIVE LANGUAGES...

Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.*

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.*
This means giving someone your undivided attention.

Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.*

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.*

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.*

(Love language summaries courtesy of personalitycafe.com) TAKE THE QUIZ HERE

My personal love language is physical touch and quality time. I feel the most loved when I'm experiencing these things.

Many of our issues with another person comes from misunderstanding where they're coming from or what they're thinking. Sometimes they don't know how to communicate it, but if you realize what makes them feel special or important, it could go a long way in strengthening the integrity of your relationship.

I truly commend Laverne Cox, a new personality on the new show, "Orange is the New Black". She is very unique (first and foremost) being the first transsexual to star on a reality TV show.

But where she is leaving an interesting mark is deeper than her decision to change her gender. She made a conscious decision back when she starred on Vh1's 2008 show, "I Want to Work for P. Diddy", to NOT participate in continuous fighting on the show. She was informed of members on the show that allegedly said something about/against her - even to the point of her own mother questioning her about why she didn't defend herself. She simply stands by the fact that she won't be reduced to a stereotype.

Regardless of anyone's judgment of her chosen lifestyle, I admire the fact that (1) someone that was in the position of a career come-up has set a standard for themselves and (2) that she can actually see and acknowledge the pattern of "niggadom" (yeah, I said NIGGADOM") that is the extremely non-creative formula that reality TV has for women (especially women of color).

There is NOTHING wrong with having a standard and questioning the things you don't feel right about doing or being a part of. Even if you do have to stand up to "Poppa Diddy Pop".

I think it's the big one Elizabeth. And if you don't know that reference, I'm judging your whole life.

Kanye flows about the first time he realized Kim could be his future wife -- saying, "I impregnated your mouth, girl, oooh ... that's when I knew you could be my spouse, girl."

I'm sure her combo of A-lister, paparazzi, fashionista, everybody is tuning into this girl appeal had something to do with her being wifey material as well but DAMNNNNNNNN 'Ye! This is where we are in 2014 where the hubbys to be can't even keep it classy about their own women?

The evolution of where we have come is so crazy to me. Love songs. Actual love songs used to be sang where the woman had value beyond her head game. Now it's just...

I don't even know what the hell it is. I'm trying to take it all in and still have faith in society where there can still be some level of decorum or class. Even if it is about a woman whose claim to fame came from a sex tape.

How is it that Kanye touches me in certain philosophical ways at times where he's truly in touch with how jacked up society is, but then he jumps right into the circus he's complained about?

Am I being too sensitive right now? I know, I'm just beating a buried horse. That damn horse was dead a long time ago. My bad you guys.

I'm basing this question off of the rumors about Nicole Scherzinger being proposed to 3 whole times by Formula One racer Lewis Hamilton.

Supposedly, she finally said YES after reconciling from a year long break up.

Personally I believe, if a man truly has identified the woman he wants to marry, he would be very persistent about proving that love to her.

Nowadays (though), people (men and women) have so many ego issues that I'm wondering if anything like 3 proposals would ever happen with my fellow black folks.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK THOUGH. WOULD YOU BE PERSISTENT IF SHE WAS HESITANT TO SAY YES???

I asked various gentleman about how they felt when it came to stronger women who can be controlling, assertive, and head strong. I even asked about the women who come across as more of a "homeboy". I felt the need to clarify the mentalities of men when it comes to what they truly want in a woman. And obviously I know all men are different, but I believe it's safe to say they gravitate more towards a woman who can balance herself.

QUOTES OF MALES WHO WERE ASKED HOW THEY FELT ABOUT THIS TYPE OF WOMAN:

"I don't have a problem with strong women! But those in particular blow me! Reason being they have tunnel vision. Im about partnership and acknowledging that a woman is just as strong or stronger in many areas. I understand I need that queen! Being raised by a mom who was single and has major respect for herself. Yet, I also know that those women in particular have been burnt by a sexist society and a lack of "man" in their life who showed them love genuinely. I get the independence, but in the end I like women who know who they are yet understand they need me as I need them.... I went in...I know!"

"It doesn't bother me, but it's not what I like. It's not how I coexist with someone I'm interested in.

And a controlling woman does bother me."

"My ex was controlling. She always thought her way was the right way and if it wasn't to her liking, it was a problem. Just about any time, it didn't matter. Sometimes she tried to control her abrasiveness, but at her convenience."

"It depends though. You gotta have the right mix and match. If you as a man aren't strong enough to lead a woman because she has that abrasive, whatever type of mentality, then she probably isn't for you. Like, I can't be a bum...lazy...no ambition ass dude and expect to lead or take care of someone like that."

"To me personally, I wouldn't go for it unless they had something more to offer."

"In some cases and situations, I can see them as the perfect mate because I tend to be more relaxed with them."

"When she comes off as that Type A, aggressive and abrasive woman, when a female doesn't show that softer and intimate side and a guy isn't able to see that, he usually sees just wanting to hang, but nothing permanent."

"I don't take a woman seriously who tries to show me she's like one of the guys. That's what my homies are for. My woman is for being just that, a WOMAN."

"Women like that can be very cold, which isn't the type of woman I'd be comfortable with opening up to. Hurt people hurt people."

"That hard personality where I can't see your vulnerability is where I have the biggest problem. Women like this are famous for fronting about what they really feel until she's about to explode."

"There's nothing wrong with be assertive and confident, but masculine traits doesn't rest well in femininity."

"The need for control doesn't translate to love. It's an insecurity and a defense mechanism from preventing hurt."

"You can't be open, transparent and vulnerable being controlling."

"The "Alpha Female" concept works well outside God's ways."

"Women like this do a lot of talking down on a man."

"They have a challenging ear instead of a receptive ear, and it presents unnecessary problems."

I believe there are many women who don't come across genuine (I always talk about men with the genuine factor) and it hurts them in the long run. I stress being true to yourself when dealing with anyone because that is the side that will truly connect to someone who may be just as scared as you to let go and possibly love.

So, is it really fair to say that women are the only ones who should be shown as a sex object? In JLo's newest video, "I Luh Ya Papi", she gives a very playful way of reversing roles and showing the men as the objects of desire - barely dressed, and being on display for the women to speculate and react to.

Women have been sex objects for well over 2 decades in music videos and have went through an evolution of being the girl to party with to the girl who's proud of using her curves to pay her bills, to rappers living the lifestyle with groups of women who will do anything sexually to and for him. Now, I'm not talking about how music artists used to sing about love because that's another topic. I'm simply speaking about the women who have been objectified in videos over the years and their roles.

CHECK OUT THE VIDEO:

Some NON-URBAN publications have commented wondering about JLo's purpose with the video:

What’s weird is that during the verse contributed by rapper French Montana, all the tropes Lopez set out to mock come right back. The part where he stands there (fully dressed, unlike the speedo dudes) while Lopez struts around him in short shorts is one thing; it’s her video, she’s choosing what to wear, she’s supporting the featured artist on her track, and presumably she wants to look sexy — so that’s how she does it. It’s a little bit of a strange choice considering the video’s theme, but, sure. - TIME.COM

People could argue that Lopez is trying to prove their point by showing just how ridiculous the scene is, no matter who is prancing and who is drooling. But is it a point that needs proving?

And just who is Jennifer Lopez to pick up the torch and run with it? Her brand of celebrity is based just as much, if not more, on looks than talent. - NJ.COM (True Jersey)

In a way, I feel that this video does a lot to show that some people are aware of how mainstream this style has become. In urban music especially, (because I'm definitely not saying it's all on the urban side) rappers are always singing about the easy woman who he can have his way with. It used to be more about a variety of things - his girl and maybe his life with her, someone he was interested in, the girls he partied with or slept with, but NOW...it's mostly about the woman being an object he can stick and move with.

My biggest issue would be the lack of variety. Our mainstream is ONLY THIS. There's no true variation with the male artists. You have most men at this point making women no more than body counts which reflects quite a bit on our actual statistics of baby daddies to husbands ratio within our community. I'm not saying music should be responsible for instilling values, but many people are influenced easily by it because a lot of parents aren't stepping up to direct them. And I just believe that.

BUT! LET'S LOOK AT ANOTHER SIDE TO THIS, BECAUSE I FEEL THIS VIDEO DOWN HERE TOO. SHOUT OUT TO BUZZFEED - this thing had me ROLLIN'!!!!

I do feel in some ways, it's hard to reverse the roles of men and women completely when it comes to these things but like I said before, I wouldn't speak on it so hard if it wasn't for the music imitating so much REAL LIFE out here. It's more than just a song for entertainment. Women in the urban community are often good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to love. Just knowing that alone makes me back up JLo's efforts - even though I do agree coming from her, it's going to be taken with a grain of salt.

MOMENT OF HONESTY: I honestly believe men just don't give a sh*t about any of this though and it's just life. (random relevant thought)

TMZ is reporting that the delicate one (Mr. Aubrey) and Ms. Unapologetic are now making things official. They have gone from the dating phase to actually working on a committed relationship. Sources close to both of them are saying that Rihanna and Drake have been growing closer and closer (she has spent every night with him while Drake has been touring in Europe).

RiRi is said to have mentioned that Drake has treated her the best of anyone she has been with. I defnitely don't think that should be any basis for choosing a mate but who the hell am I?!

I do believe sometimes these things just "happen" though. If they make each other happy though, WHY NOT?! Eff what the public thinks. There will be just as many naysayers as people cheering them on.

I would have loved to be a fly on the wall of Chris Brown's room to take in his reaction. But hey, maybe he doesn't give a damn. (He cares, they all do.)

(WHEW! He wrote a lot, but tell me what you think about what he said if your ADD doesn't kill you first)

By cheating on a good woman, it makes a weak minded male feel he has POWER over her. It makes him feel he is worth more than her. A male knows if he cheats on a loyal woman, she will care about him more. Yes, initially she will be shocked a man has the audacity to cheat on her, especially with an UGLY woman. No, not merely “physically” ugly, no. The word UGLY describes the particular amount of compassion, sweetness and being genuine and nurturing the woman he cheats with lacks.

A woman whose loyalty is taken for granted will question herself like:
“what is wrong with me?
Am I not I’m pretty enough?
Is my ass not curvy and fat enough for him?
Is my stomach not slim enough for him?
Is it because I won’t let him bring another girl in the bedroom with us?
Is it my smart mouth?
Is it that I’m always “over emotional” like he complains?
What aren’t I doing right?
Should I do more?”

Then she will try to stay with him to PROVE to him she is better than the girl he cheated on her with. To prove to herself she can fight for love and can help him by help changing a bad boy into a good man, fooling herself. This is reverse psychology. A weak minded male just got a Good Woman to mentally submit herself to a mentally immature man, purely by cheating on her. Males use cheating to TRICK a good woman into SETTLING for him. But this mind game many males play cannot and will not work on a Loyal woman who knows her WORTH.

I learned as Men, we must realize that ONE woman who holds us down and stays by our side, after we cheat on her, lie to her, hurt her, use her and disrespect her over & over & over, she is NOT loyal. She is WEAK. She is poisonous. She will hold back your growth as a Man. Don’t be fooled & think a girl telling you what you want to hear is loyalty.

As a mentally mature Man, we need a Woman who will be genuine with us at all times, even if that means she speaks her mind to the point her words pierce us and her tone appears to be “smart mouthed”. In really she’s not being “smart mouthed’ she’s being a Queen mentality strong enough to verbally ascend to her thrown.

a Loyal, Strong Minded Woman will speak her mind, regardless of what anyone thinks. Tell us the TRUTH. Tell us when we are WRONG. A Loyal woman will not allow us to hurt her multiple times & still accept us. That is NOT loyalty. Not at all. That is Pacifying. Babying. Appeasing.

A Loyal Woman will be loyal to your MANHOOD, not loyal to your EGO. A Loyal Woman will tell us the TRUTH, even if that means she might LOSE us. A Loyal Woman will tell us when our shitstinks, even if it makes us mad. A mentally mature man does not want a YES woman. Trust me. We don’t want a girl who will LET us hurt you and abuse you over & over & still accept us back, simply because you keep being told through Instagram Memes that real love must be suffered through and fought for. If she still stays with us after we prove to her time and time again that we genuinely aren’t strong enough as a man to keep her consistently happy in a relationship, it means she doesn’t really care about us as a man. She only cares about how we make her feel sexually. She is dickdizzy.

When a Woman truly LOVES a man, she loves him at his BEST, not settling for his worst. She wants us to BE the MAN who we were destined to be by the Holy Spirit. A man who can speak life into a woman, erase her insecurities, and shower her with loyalty and consistence. A loyal woman will tell her man to get his lazy ass up, get a job & pursue his dreams. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to live off her. A Loyal Woman will not baby a man by working a job herself, while he sits his lazy ass in her house all day, playing XBOX and eating Lucky Charms and Pop Tarts raw.

A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to talk down to her & disrespect her like she’s any girl, because she knows a mentally mature man DESERVES a Strong Minded Woman. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to refer to her as a Bitch, Bad Bitch, Boss Bitch, My Bitch, Wifey Bitch, because she knows we deserve a Queen who has integrity.

A Loyal Woman will not allow a male to FORCE her to get an abortion, or let him off the hook for abandoning her after getting her pregnant, because she knows we DESERVE to be a Father, not a Baby Daddy. A Loyal Woman will not tell a man what he wants to hear, she will feed him wisdom he NEEDS to hear and not be scared to do to it, because she is Loyal to his inner king, which is his spirit. A Loyal Woman will not allow a man to cheat on her over & over, leave her, then come crawling his cheating ass back after he had sex with every girl in the neighborhood, 11 of his followers on twitter, every girl who liked the pick of his “are you DTF or nah?” meme on his Instagram page. No, because she knows her worth.

Just as I speak to you women today, I speak life into young men as well, and I tell them to carry themselves as a KING, to hold their head high and never settle for a WEAK woman, when he deserves a Strong Queen like you young women. Yes, a WEAK Woman may always tell a man that he is right, yes she will let him use her, yes she will give him her money to pay his phone bill that is in his mother’s name, and she will give him her money without him even having to ask, but; she can never make him a better man and she can never love him like, a loyal woman can.

I made a huge mistake committing myself to a weak minded woman before, and that woman was my ex. Last year after I broke up with her, she asked me if I ever cheated on her, as she always suspected. I told her the truth and confessed, “I have never cheated on you or any woman, and I have never been unfaithful in any relationship.”

After my confession, all she could say was, “wow”, because it is commonly assumed all men cheat, yet this is completely false. I could agree all males cheat, at some point in their life, but a “Man” not a “male” but a man knows if he cheats, he would be not only cheating on a good woman, he would be cheating himself out of allowing a loyal woman to help mold him into a king.

Many people argue men cheat, because his woman will not do what his women on the side will, but he would never even consider the option of having women on the side if he deserved her in the first place. Some men are genuinely not ready for a relationship. To force one with him is only creating a relationship death wish. The idea that men are incapable of being monogamous is false.

I enjoy going on dates, flirting, courting and enjoy my single life, but in the back of my mind, I’m looking for a WIFE. I have ZERO interest in having side HOES or “fans”. I don’t need to have sex with every beautiful woman I meet to prove how much of a “man” I am. My loyalty, monogamy, spirituality & mental maturity proves that.

Each woman I meet, I’m looking to see if she is Wife Material. Because I know I am Husband material. My mother raised a future husband, not a hoe. I choose to be celibate while single, because my mother raised me to be a father and not a baby daddy. I live my life this way as proof that loyal men do indeed exist.

I have to admit, I am extremely picky and I know what a want in a woman. I want a woman who is as strong minded as me. I must admit I love a woman with a smart mouth who will speak her mind, yet knows that my masculinity and romantic aggression will always demand her respect, so she never verbally disrespects me. I love a woman who is spiritual. I love a woman who loves to shop & dress her ass of. It makes me want to spoil her with new heels every payday to keep her shoe game on point.

I enjoy the single life, but I have to admit, I miss having a girlfriend to SPOIL. To show off. To take shopping to the mall before our dinner date. Waiting an hour outside her house knowing she’s getting her hair right, eye lashes long, eye brows perfect, make-up on point just for me. I miss buying those Mani/Pedi gift cards that come in the cute lil box & surprising her with it to make sure my woman’s feet & nails stay on point.

I miss taking the SAME LOYAL WOMAN out every weekend, on spontaneous dates to the gun range, laser tag, in door bungee jumping, rock climbing, wine tasting, on a tropical cruise, snorkeling with dolphins or just to the beach for a walk on the sand after a I cook her lunch, fried chicken, bbq wings, potato salad, pesto pasta, fresh lemonade & peach cobbler I made just for us.

I miss having the SAME LOYAL WOMAN to cook for every day, to have in the kitchen teaching her to cook, then putting an ice cube down her back & laughing, play food fighting, then chasing her around my house
searching for her all around, only to find her laying in my bed, ready for me to trEAT her like food.

I miss making love to the SAME LOYAL WOMAN, texting the SAME GIRL all day, & never getting tired of hitting her with my hilarious vulgar humor and deep intellectual conversation. Being hilarious, making her laugh her ass off to the point her stomach hurts from how much I am making her laugh. I miss hearing the SAME VOICE every night before I go to sleep, hearing her cheese at the sound of my DEEP voice. I miss being a provider for the SAME LOYAL WOMAN, being her rock, someone she can tell all her problems to, vent to and then give her some sound advice, speaking life into my woman to make her feel better.

I miss giving those full body deep tissue massages after her long day. I miss having that ONE I can bring around my moms & sisters, to family events, so everyone knows she’s mine. I miss having that ONE to pray with, to cuddle up & read the bible with. I enjoy being Single, but honestly, I’d be willing to be loyal in a relationship if I found the ONE worth committing to. This is how mentally mature men feel. Yes all males may cheat, but a mentally mature man knows nothing can sharpen his iron and no one can mold him into a king other than a loyal woman.”

After I finished speaking, the young women really humbled me, as so many of them personally thanked me for writing “Why the hell am I still dating Black Women.” I never intended that piece to become an article. I was just venting off an extremely disgusting experience I had at a barbershop.

I want all my young kings to know they deserve a loyal woman, not a fast girl. We as men need to do much better. Lets be the men we want our sisters to marry, the men we want our daughters one day to be wifed by. Being a good man really is not that hard young kings.

All a Loyal Woman really wants from us as a man is us our attention. That’s all. And that’s not asking a lot at all. Don’t make her feel crazy for wanting us to give her consistency. Don’t have her second guessing if it’s too early to for her to expect us to be loyal, caring and faithful to her. It’s not. Not at all.

If we like her, if we want to spend time with her in any way, she DESERVES our undivided attention. Not half of our attention on her, and half on every other girl on these social networks. My sister said a man doesn’t deserve her time if we are not willing to give her our consistent attention. You may think that is a lot to ask but remember, in order to posses a treasure, one must in return give up what the treasure is WORTH. Loyalty.

By: Ebrahim Aseem

IG: @Fuel4TheBODY
Twitter: @EbrahimAseem

https://www.facebook.com/AEAseem

https://www.Twitter.com/EbrahimAseem

http://www.instagram.com/fuel4thebody

I am an author, and I do Public Speaking events in the San Francsico Bay Area.

For Public Speaking inquiries & booking, contact me AEAseem@gmail.com

Click on my picture of me and the woman who raised me, my moms bellow for more!
thought provoking articles like this,
Or to read my book,

Follow/add me on Facebook and request your free copy ASAP

WTF 2 Chainz?! (I went in, ya'll have to forgive me)

IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE: Mind-blowing sex w/out True Love or Awful Sex With A Loving Mate?

Porsha from Housewives of Atlanta is Pissed at Wendy Williams

My Encounter w/ Brandy and Her Newly Ex-Fiancé

Harrison (Black Dude from Scandal) Charged With Felony Assault?!

Women Who Side With Men To Earn COOL POINTS...

Melyssa Ford and Her Interview w/ Sway: Life as a Video Chick

Either We "Smoke, Drink, or we Break-Up"....

Could You Hang Out With Your Exes' New Boo?

What The Hell Future?!

In 2014, What Is "WIFEY MATERIAL"??? -- Keyshia Cole Situation w/ V103 FM

Nicki Minaj Says, "It's OK to go After Married Men"

The Quickest Way To Get Over a Man is to Get Under A New One, if You're Evelyn

Paula Patton Says She's Not Ready To Take Him Back

Fellas! Is She A Burden On Your Wallet?!

BABY FEVER IN HOLLYWOOD....

Would You Tell Your Close Friends If Your Sex Life Was on 5000?!

THIS IS WHY SOME OF YOU DON'T GET ALONG...

She Said She Refuses to Add to the Stereotype of Reality TV

Kanye Said Kimmy's BLOW SKILLS Certified Her As Wife Material

MEN! Would You Propose Again if you were Turned Down?!

What Men REALLY THINK About An Assertive, Strong Woman (ALPHA WOMAN)

JLo Said, "Why Can't The MEN be Naked This Time"?!

Oh LAWD...Drake and RiRi are Official Now?! (Where's Sweet Brown At)

WHY MEN CHEAT ON LOYAL WOMEN: An Article

LinkWithin

LaDoodlebug on TWITTER

The Readers Loved...

DOODLE Archive

Follow D. Diaries on BLOGLOVIN